One of the things my daughter loves most is crafting cards for her friends and selecting small gifts. She’s always eager to share her belongings and often saves her allowance to buy a little something special for her brother. Not long ago, while sorting through some old toys, she suggested wrapping up a toy car to gift to a neighbor’s son. Rather than discouraging her, I simply grabbed some wrapping paper, and we found an old gift bag in our collection. She took great care in wrapping the toy and carefully placing it in the bag. Together, we delivered the present, and the joy on her face—reflecting her pride in giving—was priceless. She was as thrilled to give as she is to receive.
I strive to nurture a spirit of generosity in my children. It’s about more than just expensive gifts; it’s about being mindful of those around you and understanding that thoughtfulness is a true virtue. We gather interesting rocks from our walks to color as gifts; we selected a bracelet for their grandmother; we’ve even covered the cost for strangers in line at the coffee shop. I believe it’s essential to model that being giving and thoughtful is part of who we are.
Recently, many birthday invitations for my daughter have included a note requesting “No gifts, please.” While I understand the reasoning—children often have plenty already—I can’t help but wonder what message this sends about kindness and generosity. Shouldn’t children have the opportunity to give gifts to their friends on their birthdays? Young kids express their affection through thoughtful gestures, like making or selecting a small gift.
Just last month, my daughter’s best friend turned six, and his mom, a good friend of mine, requested no gifts. I understood her intentions—she didn’t want anyone to feel pressured or stressed. However, when I informed my daughter of this, she became visibly upset, expressing how she had been excitedly planning a specific gift. Not wanting to dampen her enthusiasm, and knowing my friend wouldn’t mind if we bent the rules, I encouraged her to bring the gift. She happily purchased a small toy with her allowance and made a colorful birthday card.
Since we were the only guests at this intimate gathering, there were no issues with other children feeling left out. If there had been more kids, I would have suggested she give her gift privately another time. Her desire to give something special to her friend was too precious to stifle, so I chose to support her thoughtfulness.
At other parties, we’ve encountered requests for donations to charities instead of gifts. While I wholeheartedly support this approach and view it as a wonderful idea, I still believe that a small gift for the birthday child adds a nice touch. Encouraging my children to give is a priority for me, and while donations are indeed a form of giving, I want them to feel empowered to share tokens of affection—be it a rock, a card, or a small purchase they make.
So, please allow my child to bring a gift to the birthday party. And while we’re at it, I’d love to bring you a delightful arrangement of greens for the holidays. The spirit of generosity shouldn’t be restricted, even when well-intentioned. We want to express our appreciation and love, and if we didn’t feel this way, we wouldn’t offer anything at all. In a world that often leans toward self-interest, spontaneous acts of kindness—whether through time or small gifts—should be encouraged, not discouraged.
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In summary, fostering a spirit of generosity in children is important, and allowing them to express kindness through gift-giving should not be overlooked, even when there are requests for no gifts at celebrations.