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I often come across a piece of advice circulating on social media that claims it’s impolite to interrupt someone’s story with your own experiences. The notion is that when someone shares a difficult personal experience or their emotions, you should remain silent, offering only non-verbal cues like nodding or showing concern. This is meant to signal that the conversation is entirely focused on them.
Every time I see this advice, I can’t help but feel frustrated by its oversimplification. Firstly, can we agree that such blanket statements are often misleading? It’s troubling how people are eager to categorize every interaction into a strict binary. With this guideline, you’re left with two stark choices: either remain silent and listen, or interject with your own story and be labeled a terrible friend. Can we please move past this?
Of course, we don’t want to dominate a conversation or overshadow a friend’s experience with our own. No one likes a “one-upper,” and that kind of behavior is certainly inconsiderate. However, interjecting during a conversation can be entirely appropriate and even beneficial. Sharing similar experiences is a natural part of human interaction. People generally want to feel connected and know that they’re not alone in their struggles.
For instance, when I’ve confided in friends about my past experiences with trauma, their own revelations about similar situations didn’t diminish my story; instead, they made me feel supported and understood. Similarly, when discussing parenting challenges, hearing from others who have faced similar frustrations helps me feel less isolated.
In an essay I read, the author described a fulfilling exchange with his physical therapist, emphasizing how the therapist asked questions and showed interest. However, that’s not a typical conversation; it’s an appointment where the focus should be on the patient. To suggest that such interactions should be the standard for personal conversations is, quite frankly, a bit narcissistic.
Moreover, the insistence to “just listen” can be dismissive to those who may struggle with social norms, like those with ADHD or autism, who might feel compelled to share relatable experiences as part of their communication style. This advice can also overlook cultural differences; in some cultures, interjecting is a sign of engagement rather than rudeness.
Personally, if someone doesn’t share their own relatable story during our conversation, I might assume they’re uninterested or even think my story is odd. I experience anxiety in social situations and crave that shared connection. The essence of conversation, for me, is about relating to one another. If I wanted a monologue focused solely on me, I’d simply schedule a session with my therapist.
In conclusion, while it’s essential to be mindful of how we engage in conversations, the idea that sharing our stories is inherently rude is overly simplistic. Conversations thrive on the back-and-forth exchange of experiences and emotions, allowing us to connect and feel less alone.
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Summary:
The article challenges the common advice against interjecting in conversations, arguing that sharing relatable experiences fosters connection and support. It highlights the importance of nuanced communication, acknowledging cultural differences and the needs of neurodivergent individuals. Ultimately, the author advocates for a more flexible understanding of conversational dynamics.