Whether you love it or loathe it, Facebook has become an integral part of our lives. It serves as a platform for news, connection, and entertainment. Regardless of your views on its influence, its effectiveness relies heavily on how we use it. I personally enjoy Facebook, but I adhere to a specific set of guidelines when interacting on the platform.
Many individuals could benefit from such a code, as their online behavior can negatively impact their real-life relationships. Covering every aspect of how to navigate Facebook would require a lengthy book, so let’s zero in on a particularly sensitive area: responding to bad news.
There’s much debate around whether personal, tragic, or sensitive news should be shared online. However, it can be incredibly helpful for someone to communicate their story to a large audience at once. For example, after being diagnosed with a serious illness, I found sharing updates about my treatment and linking to a support site beneficial. Facebook became my voice, conserving my energy. Yet, not everyone knows how to respond appropriately to this type of news. Your identity and your reaction truly matter. Here are six guidelines to consider:
1. Be Genuine
Do you share a close, personal relationship with the individual in real life? If you see them often or have their number, refrain from expressing your feelings through Facebook. Social media is generally for those who have limited access to each other’s personal lives. If you’re posting supportive messages but don’t offer similar sentiments in person, it can come off as insincere. A simple hug or private message can mean much more. And if you’re unsure what to say, it’s perfectly fine to express your lack of words and offer a hug instead. Remember, those going through tough times often feel a loss of identity; don’t let them lose the authenticity of your relationship too.
2. Avoid Comparisons
Statements like, “At least it’s not as bad as…” or “You should be grateful you’re not my cousin in Iowa who…” are not helpful. When someone shares their struggles, they deserve to have their feelings validated without being told to feel grateful for someone else’s misfortune. Instead, just be present with them.
3. Stay Focused on Them
When someone shares their vulnerability, it’s not an invitation for you to one-up them with your own experience. While it’s natural to relate their situation to your own, consider whether your intention is to support them or shift the focus back to yourself. If you feel compelled to share, start and end with their feelings.
4. Don’t Play the Expert
Unless explicitly asked for advice, it’s best to hold off on offering it. Many of us have experienced unsolicited advice when sharing health-related news, and it can feel overwhelming. A good approach is to ask questions that allow the person to guide the conversation. For example, “What have you already tried?” can open the door for constructive dialogue.
5. Steer Clear of Clichés
Phrases like “Everything happens for a reason” or “God never gives you more than you can handle” are often perceived as impersonal and overused. If you can’t think of anything more meaningful to say, it’s okay to remain quiet.
6. Be Cautious with Likes
The meaning behind a “Like” can vary widely. Some view it as a supportive gesture, while others may find it inappropriate, especially in response to serious posts, like someone mourning a loss. If you can only muster a “Like,” consider taking a step back from Facebook altogether and reaching out in a more personal way later.
For many of us, especially those without a strong support system, Facebook can provide a sense of community during life’s transitions. As social media continues to develop, it’s important to balance our online relationships with our in-person connections. While we embrace new ways to show support online, let’s not forget the traditional, human ways of being there for one another.
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In summary, responding to bad news online requires sensitivity and thoughtfulness. By following these guidelines, you can foster genuine connections and provide meaningful support during difficult times.