Today was a turning point for me. For the past year and a half, I had been grappling with a persistent issue at my workplace, and despite my attempts to address it, nothing seemed to change. So, I took matters into my own hands—quite literally. During our all-staff meeting, while updating my team on my projects, I decided to give the men in the room a taste of their own medicine. I casually began to touch my chest, starting with one hand and then using both hands to draw attention to what I was doing.
I maintained my composure throughout, continuing to discuss my projects without skipping a beat. My colleagues were mostly silent, some struggling to suppress their giggles, while my friend Megan nearly burst into laughter. A few were aware of my plan since we had discussed it beforehand, but most tried to look anywhere but at me. Yet, two men—whom I’ll refer to as “The Adjusters”—were completely unfazed, listening to my update as if nothing unusual was happening. It was these men who inspired my bold move.
These Adjusters habitually fidgeted with themselves in meetings, as if they were battling an invisible foe. It was baffling to witness their complete oblivion to how inappropriate their behavior was. One of them, my manager, is an otherwise sharp individual, having graduated from a prestigious university and climbed the corporate ladder with ease. Yet, during every interaction, he would adjust himself as if it were the most natural thing in the world, completely disregarding the context.
I had tried various tactics to address this issue—from leaving notes about appropriate personal hygiene to humorously reacting to their adjustments, but nothing worked. Even when I approached HR, the representative panicked at the thought of confronting my boss about it. I realized it was time for a different approach.
As I wrapped up my presentation, I watched the Adjusters for any sign of realization. Both men nodded and wandered into the hallway, where I caught them engaging in their usual behavior while talking. It was disheartening; my attempt to mirror their actions didn’t seem to reach them at all.
I pondered what to do next—maybe a more provocative approach? Or perhaps I should just let it go, but that seemed too easy. After all, change often requires a little disruption.
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Summary
In a bold move to address inappropriate behavior from male colleagues, I decided to make a statement at work by mimicking their actions during a meeting. Despite my intentions, the message seemed lost on them, leaving me to consider my next steps in tackling workplace etiquette.