Dear Lily,
I hope I never have to share this letter with you. My wish is to teach you the importance of embracing who you are before insecurities start to weigh you down. I want you to always find beauty in everything, especially within yourself.
I hope no boy ever makes you feel the need to change your body, and that no one ever convinces you that you require makeup to feel beautiful. I never want to hear you say, “I’m too heavy” or “I’m not pretty enough.” I hope self-criticism doesn’t become a part of your daily routine.
This is your 28-year-old mom speaking to you, just seven months after your arrival. I’m currently working on my relationship with my post-baby body. In my mind, I know I’m still okay. I remind myself that I’m beautiful because I carried you for nine months and have been nursing you since day one. Yet, when I glance in the mirror, I often feel disheartened. On particularly tough days, it feels overwhelming.
I’ve always had some insecurity about my appearance. Before becoming pregnant, I relied on quick fixes—crash diets when bloated and salon visits when I needed a change. But pregnancy revealed my vulnerabilities; no outfit could disguise the extra weight, and no cream could erase the stretch marks.
Honestly, I’m tired of my insecurities too. It’s draining to compare myself with others. There’s always someone who looks better, younger, or more put together. I worry that you’ll notice how I grimace when stepping on the scale or how I struggle to find shirts that flatter my figure. How can I guide you in appreciating beauty when I wrestle with my own self-acceptance?
Yet, amidst my own struggles, I reflect on what I truly want to impart to you about beauty and the female form. As your mother, I see this as one of my greatest challenges in raising you, my precious daughter.
You’ve helped me challenge my negative thoughts. You gaze at me as if I’m the most wonderful person in the world. I hold onto that and hope to build a positive self-image so that I can guide you sincerely when you start asking about weight, beauty, and insecurities.
My greatest wish for you is to fully embrace every moment and not shy away from experiences simply because you feel you don’t look good enough. Explore sports, try dance, or build sandcastles in your swimsuit! Enjoy that delicious fried chicken your dad will lovingly prepare. Don’t stress if the scale shows an extra pound. Accept compliments graciously and believe in their truth. My love, these are the things I’m striving for now, and mastering them will be the best way to teach you.
If I ever need to share this letter with you, I hope it serves as a reminder that not every woman feels confident in her body. I want you to be strong enough to uplift other women around you. Always seek to appreciate the beauty in those around you, just as you are starting to uplift me.
Thank you, my dear Lily, and remember that I love you endlessly.
Love,
Mom