It’s late, and I find myself crafting a tiny note for my daughter’s fairy, squinting at the paper and trying to write in a whimsical style. “Keep practicing the piano. You have a wonderful talent. I adore the outfits you made for me,” I scribble, signing it with a flourish as “E” for Elara—a name that popped into my head one evening after a glass of wine. Placing the note gently into the fairy house, I return to bed only to catch my husband’s skeptical glance as he turns off the light. He’s not entirely on board with my decision to nurture this fantasy, but I’m committed to keeping the magic alive.
In this enchanting season of wonder, my 9-year-old believes in a delightful array of imaginary beings: Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, leprechauns, and our Elf on the Shelf, named Benny. To his credit, my husband has played along, enthusiastically embracing these roles. He was the one who staged a humorous “caught in the act” moment with Santa reaching for cookies on camera. He’s also the one who remembers to leave money under pillows for lost teeth. He even enjoys the drama of my daughter losing a tooth right before Christmas, pondering if the Tooth Fairy and Benny might clash in the night.
Elara, however, is a new addition to this world of make-believe, arriving at a time when my daughter is starting to grow out of her innocent beliefs. My husband doesn’t realize that Elara’s arrival coincides with my daughter’s transition into the tumultuous tween years.
Last summer, as my daughter navigated her shifting emotions, I worried I was becoming that oblivious mom who tries to connect but ends up making things worse. To bridge this gap, I purchased a mother-daughter journal meant to create a safe space for honest communication—an attempt to foster understanding without the usual misunderstandings. We wrote back and forth for a while, until one day she became enamored with a shoebox and declared, “I want to create a fairy house!” Naturally, I encouraged her. Kids often find joy in repurposing items, and her shoebox project was a perfect example of how we could have saved money by collecting cardboard instead of toys.
The journal lay untouched as she transformed the shoebox into a magical abode, complete with intricately cut windows and cozy furnishings made from tissues. She even crafted tiny dresses from craft paper and left a note inviting Elara to visit and try on the outfits. One night, in a bid to show my daughter that dreaming is perfectly fine, Elara responded with a tiny note of encouragement.
While my husband may be skeptical, research supports my desire to foster this sense of imagination. Jacqueline Woolley, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, noted in a Huffington Post article that exploring the boundary between possibility and impossibility is fundamental to scientific invention and discovery. So, I’m nurturing a dreamer, and it brings me joy.
However, my reasons for continuing this fairy correspondence are also a bit selfish. Elara’s notes resonate with my daughter in a way that my own words sometimes don’t. As my daughter grows more independent, she often dismisses my praise. But when Elara tells her she’s a talented pianist or excels in her studies, my daughter beams with pride. Even though she’s never met Elara and has no tangible proof of her existence, this fairy’s affirmations seem more meaningful.
I know that one day my daughter will realize Elara is just a creation of her mother, and I’ve often thought about how Elara might be a great messenger for more serious topics as she matures—perhaps even offering guidance on relationships or self-esteem, areas where I sometimes struggle to connect.
Yet, I understand that the day will come when my daughter will outgrow this fantasy. Until then, I’ll continue the charade, cherishing the moments when her face lights up after discovering a note from her secret friend. A friend who is never busy or distracted, always focused on celebrating my daughter’s achievements and reminding her of the magic that exists in believing.
If you’re curious about the journey of home insemination, you might find this blog post helpful. For those considering fertility treatments, check out this excellent resource from March of Dimes.
In summary, nurturing my daughter’s belief in Elara is not only about fostering creativity but also about maintaining a special bond as she transitions into her teenage years. I cherish these moments while they last, knowing that they will soon transform into something different.