As we stood in an excruciatingly long line under the sweltering June sun, waiting to enter the auditorium for our youngest child’s middle school graduation, I felt a wave of déjà vu wash over me. We had already navigated this crowded event four times with our other children, and the line was barely inching forward. Just then, a familiar figure caught my eye—an estranged relative with whom we have a restraining order due to past abuse. In that moment, we made a quick decision: we stepped out of line and took a stroll around the block instead. We ended up at a cozy pub nearby, enjoying a refreshing drink and choosing to prioritize our own emotional well-being for once. Our son never even noticed our absence.
Although it might sound callous, one of the misconceptions many parents hold is that “every milestone matters.” In reality, our presence at that graduation wouldn’t have made a difference. We didn’t mention our decision to skip it to him; we aren’t unkind people. Afterward, we met him outside the auditorium for photos and celebrated in our own way. But honestly, I questioned the very need for such a ceremony. Today’s parents seem to overly celebrate even the most ordinary achievements. Yes, graduating from high school or college is a big deal, but moving on from kindergarten or middle school? It feels premature to throw a party.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There’s a growing movement against the trend of coddling children. They receive trophies for just showing up, rarely venture out alone, and often don’t know how to prepare their own meals. Daily, you can find articles from parenting experts and bloggers lamenting this “helicopter parenting” epidemic. The reality is that the two (or often just one) parents managing the complexities of raising kids need a break sometimes. This doesn’t mean every meal has to be a Pinterest-worthy bento box, or every birthday celebrated with extravagant cupcakes. Sometimes, rewarding a completed school year with an ice cream treat or a pizza night suffices, rather than a big party.
For my spouse and me, our “no” moment was crystallized in that line, as we saw a joyful event turn sour. The expectations can be overwhelming, and whether this makes us good or bad parents is still up for debate. We’ve struck a balance between indulgence and discipline, attending as many events as we feasibly could while ensuring our kids had what they needed, if not always what they wanted. So far, we’ve launched four of our five children into adulthood successfully. Missing an event that didn’t hold significant meaning didn’t disrupt our family; the world didn’t end.
If you’re interested in finding out more about the journey of parenthood, you might want to check out additional insights on home insemination at Intracervical Insemination. For those considering starting a family, Make a Mom is also a valuable resource for exploring options. Additionally, for anyone facing challenges with conception, the Johns Hopkins Fertility Center provides excellent resources.
In conclusion, sometimes, it’s perfectly okay to step back and prioritize your own well-being as a parent. The important celebrations will still happen, and your children will thrive, even if you miss a few of the less significant moments along the way.