Having three children all aged five and under means we’ve had our share of trips to the emergency room. Most of these visits have been classic parenting moments, like when a child develops a sudden high fever at 5:31 p.m. on a Friday. We’ve also had our fair share of overly cautious checks after minor bumps and tumbles. (I still find it a bit cruel that a Google search for “what does brain fluid look like” reveals it can look a lot like mucus; how am I supposed to know if my daughter’s nose was running from crying or if something more serious was going on? Spoiler alert: It was just tears.)
However, the most bizarre ER visit occurred a few months ago. It was the end of a long week, and the kids were understandably tired. As I was cooking dinner, eagerly anticipating getting them all to bed, my son dashed in, sobbing uncontrollably.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, my heart racing.
Through his tears, he managed to say, “I don’t think I swallowed a penny!”
This was a new one for me.
“What do you mean you don’t think you swallowed a penny?” I asked, trying to process the situation.
His distress escalated, and he became even more upset, unable to articulate his thoughts. My husband and I exchanged confused glances, realizing we needed more information. I called my daughter, who had been playing nearby, hoping she could shed some light on the situation. Instead, she adopted a wide-eyed silence, clearly opting for the “see-no-evil” approach.
Feeling a bit exasperated, I turned off the stove and called my brother, who happens to be an ER doctor. “My son thinks he might have swallowed a penny,” I explained.
“Sounds like he swallowed a penny,” he replied matter-of-factly.
I sighed again. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”
And so began our most embarrassing trip to the ER. My husband took over dinner duty while my son and I headed out. He calmed down once we were en route to the hospital. As I drove, I tried to unravel the mystery.
“I don’t think I swallowed one,” he insisted.
“But how can that even be a possibility? Can you tell me why you’re so upset?” He couldn’t explain, and we continued our drive.
When we arrived at the ER, I approached the receptionist and said, “Hi, my son here doesn’t think he swallowed a penny.” She barely stifled a laugh as she checked us in.
Before long, we were in a room where I had to repeat my story to a nurse and then the doctor: “My son doesn’t think he swallowed a penny.”
“Did you swallow a penny?” the doctor asked my son.
“No,” he replied, growing more adamant in his denial.
The doctor chuckled, looking at me knowingly. “He almost certainly swallowed a penny.” (Is this something they cover in medical school?) He went on to explain that we’d need an x-ray to see where the penny was. “It’s probably fine, but it could get lodged, so it’s best to check.”
By now, my son was happily engrossed in Disney on the hospital TV—definitely a perk he doesn’t get at home. The x-ray technician arrived, greeting us with a smile. “I hear your son didn’t swallow a penny!” he exclaimed cheerfully. “That’s a new one!”
After some x-rays, the doctor returned to deliver the news.
“Well, your son is a truthful boy,” he said.
“You mean he didn’t swallow a penny?” I asked, half-holding my breath.
“No penny,” he confirmed.
I hardly remember the discharge paperwork. Did it include a note about watching out for an overactive imagination? I do know we paid quite a bit for the reassurance that my son had not, in fact, swallowed a penny.
I never quite figured out what triggered his panic. Days later, he mentioned something about not finding a penny, leading him to believe he must have swallowed it. Apparently, if it’s not on the floor, it must be in your stomach? I’m still baffled by the whole experience. At least it had a happy ending!
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Summary
In a humorous recount of an unexpected trip to the ER, Laura shares how her son’s vivid imagination led to a panic over the possibility of swallowing a penny. The chaotic yet lighthearted experience highlights the unpredictable nature of parenting, while also touching on the importance of communication in family situations.