I’ve always had a soft spot for bumper stickers. They provide a quick glimpse into the personality of the driver ahead. As a minivan-driving mom of three, I believe it’s time for a bumper sticker movement. Let’s create some that reveal the raw and funny truths about our journeys, our children, and our lives. Here’s a list of 25 honest bumper stickers I’d love to see on the roads:
- My child is a solidly average student with zero aspirations.
- My daughter’s sense of rhythm is non-existent; dance class is a real challenge.
- I would DRIVE 13.1 miles for a donut.
- Baby on board—prepare for a lot of crying!
- I pick my nose at traffic lights; feel free to WATCH.
- I’m a pretty DREADFUL driver; keep your distance.
- Guns are dangerous, but bananas? No way! Buy bananas.
- My kid is a video gaming MVP. BOOM!
- I have more Legos and snacks on my van floor than a budget daycare.
- If I smile at you at the light, it’s because I’m farting.
- Honk again; it makes you look less like a jerk.
- Jesus might have seen your antics last night, just saying.
- Not a fan of the LGBTQ+ community? That’s mutual.
- Your dog is probably smarter than my honors student—he trained you to pick up after him!
- If you get too close, you might owe me a drink. I only let my favorites touch my tailpipe.
- If my minivan could run on my children’s energy, I’d never stop for gas.
- Sorry to hear you’re a Boston (insert team) fan. Make better choices!
- Speed limits are merely suggestions—like being less of a jerk.
- “Have a child,” they said. “It’ll be a blast,” they said. They lied!
- Yes, I drive a minivan. Don’t hate; it has third-row seating!
- Don’t worry, be happy—you could be driving with my wild family!
- I’m the person peeking into your car like I misplaced something. Yep, I’m CREEPY.
- I love the planet, but not enough to bike or walk—just being real.
- I stop for animals, but mostly I’m just yelling, “I’ll turn this car around!” at my kids.
- Ready for a zombie apocalypse? I’ve got enough stale fries, Skittles, baby wipes, socks, and toys on the floor to last six months.
If any of these resonate with you, I encourage you to join the movement! Show off your true self on the back of your minivan, SUV, or whatever you drive. Honesty truly is the best policy! For more insights on home insemination, you can check out this blog post on intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for reliable information about artificial insemination kits, Make a Mom has great resources. And for anyone expecting, be sure to visit March of Dimes for excellent guidance.
In summary, these stickers shine a light on the hilarious truths of parenting and driving. They remind us that we’re all in this together and that a little humor can go a long way.