When my youngest child started kindergarten a few years back, I found myself suddenly in the spotlight. As a stay-at-home mom, I became the center of attention among other parents. It was surprising how many people I hadn’t spoken to in years were eager to know what I planned to do with my newfound free time while my kids were in school.
Their guesses were wild—medical school, a new job, or diving headfirst into volunteering. My honest answer, “I’m just going to take some time for myself,” didn’t resonate well, except with my husband, who cheered me on with a wink. “That means more time for us!”
The mundane details of my life, like scrubbing grout with a toothbrush or my attempts at mastering headstands, didn’t seem to pique their interest. It made me ponder why my choices were anyone’s business.
With all my kids in school, I had about six hours of solitude a day—when you exclude teacher workshops, vacations, sick days, and the myriad of appointments. Yet, should I choose to drop them off at daycare for a few hours, that somehow became a topic of conversation.
If I decide to breastfeed my four-year-old and my newborn in public, that’s my choice, not yours. If I have a glass of wine while parenting, that’s also not your concern.
When my ten-year-old walks half a mile to school with a friend, it’s not your business. But if I were to leave my child in a hot car, then yes, that would be worth your attention.
Let my child enjoy a soda on special occasions? Not your place to judge. If I host a playdate and serve your child a bacon cheeseburger, that’s my decision.
If I use colorful language on social media, that’s my prerogative, but if I call your child a “little rascal,” that’s where it gets personal.
Should I decide to take a night job dancing to support my kids’ college dreams, that’s my life. But if I invite your child to see my performance, that’s a different story.
If I let my eight-year-old watch a PG-13 movie, that’s my parenting style. However, if your child ends up having nightmares after watching a horror series with me, that’s your concern.
When I give my child “the talk” at four because of a song he learned, that’s my choice. If your child learns that same song from mine, then we need to talk.
As I move through my 40s without kids, that’s my business, but if I were to try to take your child, then yes, you should be worried.
If my child eats food off the floor? Not your problem. But if he takes food from your plate and hides it, that’s a different matter.
In my years on this planet, I’ve realized that I’m much happier when I focus on my own affairs. Plus, with two kids in puberty and one perfecting spitballs at dinner, I really can’t handle any extra drama.
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Summary:
In the world of parenting, many decisions are scrutinized by others, but ultimately, what I choose for my family is my own business. From breastfeeding choices to how I handle my kids’ diets and media consumption, I embrace my parenting style without needing validation. Happiness comes from focusing on my own family’s needs rather than worrying about what others think.