Recently, I took my two little ones to visit a friend, Emma, before heading to work. As she opened her door, she greeted us with a smile and said, “Please excuse the chaos.” I noticed toys, books, and blocks scattered across the living room in a delightful mess that only children can create—a scene I was all too familiar with from my own home.
When I hear “excuse the chaos,” it resonates deeply with me. It’s what I say when I feel a twinge of embarrassment about my own household’s state. It’s the phrase I utter when I’m aware of how much I’ve fallen behind on chores, especially when I think of those impossibly tidy homes that seem to exist in another universe (seriously, who enjoys cleaning behind toilets?).
While Emma may not feel the same way, I know I often do when visitors come over. But I want her to know how I felt as I approached her home. Before even stepping inside, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for her willingness to look after my children while I chased my writing dreams. I appreciated having an adult to interact with—someone over three feet tall! I was thankful that her wonderful boys would brighten my kids’ day by inviting them into their play.
Once I entered, it felt like I was being welcomed into her personal world. By sharing her untidy space with me, she was showing trust. The people I cherish most are those who accept me in all my forms, from my unkempt hair and comfy clothes to my cluttered kitchen. With them, I can truly relax and be myself.
I aspire to open up like that more often, but if I’m honest, my pride sometimes gets in the way. It creates a barrier that keeps me from letting others in, afraid they might judge me for my messy home or my post-pregnancy wardrobe. It’s a silly concern, but it’s the reality.
When another mom shows her vulnerability by allowing me to see her chaotic house, it’s one of the greatest compliments. I feel honored and wish she could see how much I respect and admire her. So, if you’re worried about the state of your home when I visit, know this: you have nothing to be ashamed of. We’re all in this together.
Feel free to embrace the mess, mama. No apologies needed; we’ve all been there.
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Summary:
This article highlights the importance of embracing the messiness of motherhood and the value of authenticity in friendships. It emphasizes gratitude for the support of fellow moms and encourages a relaxed attitude toward household chaos.