In many ways, we consider ourselves fortunate. We rarely find ourselves at doctor’s offices, as there are no treatments available for us to pursue. We don’t spend our time shuttling between hospitals, our child isn’t subjected to exhausting therapies, and we don’t have to see our little one suffer in the name of healing.
Our time with Ethan is precious, and our awareness of its limitations brings us a unique sense of gratitude. This awareness has transformed our perspective, making us happier than we were before Ethan’s diagnosis. We cherish our moments together, recognizing the many blessings we still have in our lives.
Yet, I can’t help feeling envious of other children. I envy their potential for recovery, the hope they experience, and the treatments they are able to receive. It pains me to feel this way, and I wouldn’t wish the struggles they face on anyone. I wouldn’t want anyone to endure the loss of a child. But if I could trade places and give Ethan a chance at life, I would do anything. Instead, I concentrate on making every moment meaningful.
Follow Ethan’s journey at facebook.com/ethanvsvwm or on Twitter and Instagram.
This article was originally published on January 7, 2016.
This blog post is part of our broader conversation on home insemination, and you can read more about it in our terms and conditions here. We also recommend checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination from March of Dimes, as well as exploring fertility options at Make a Mom, who are authorities on this topic.
In summary, while hope can be a double-edged sword, it also inspires us to appreciate every moment and to strive for better days, no matter the challenges we face.