Recently, a casual acquaintance asked me when my partner and I were planning to expand our family. I found myself at a loss for words. Personally, I tend to avoid probing into others’ family planning unless I share a close bond with them. Even then, I prefer to phrase my inquiries with “if” or “should you decide” rather than “when.”
Since the day our first child, Mia, was born, it seems we’ve been bombarded with questions about our next baby. I can recall numerous occasions where people eagerly inquired about when we would have another. Each time, I felt a twinge of disbelief at their audacity. After all, asking “when will you have more?” to someone who is navigating the challenges of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes feels completely out of touch.
As Mia approaches her first birthday, the inquiries have only grown more frequent. While I’ve started to entertain the idea of another child, I still find myself unsure about the timing. I’ve come to realize that I am not yet ready—not because I don’t want another baby, but because I still vividly remember the challenges of motherhood.
I haven’t forgotten the intense nausea that made it hard to function. I still remember how just stepping outside could trigger waves of queasiness, or the times I found myself ill in the most inconvenient places. The heartburn, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety leading up to doctor’s appointments are all fresh in my memory. I was constantly worried about our baby’s health, hoping for a safe and smooth delivery while grieving for those who faced losses.
The experience of labor and delivery is still etched in my mind—the uncertainty and fragility of bringing a new life into the world. I will never forget the long nights spent soothing a newborn who could only express their needs through cries. Or the moments when I looked into the mirror, exhausted and wondering who I had become.
I remember my struggles with breastfeeding and the overwhelming guilt that came with it. It was a journey filled with research, tears, and support from lactation consultants. I didn’t realize how much I would miss my old life while clinging to the beauty of motherhood.
Yet, amidst all the challenges, I also remember the joy. The thrill of discovering I was pregnant, the special moments shared with my partner as we anticipated our new arrival—it was a unique bond that transformed our lives. I can still feel the excitement of feeling Mia’s first kicks and the sheer wonder of seeing her for the first time.
Each milestone—her first smile, her first steps—fills my heart with warmth. I cherish the moments when I rush home just to see her, or the joy of receiving her morning hugs. The depth of love I have for her is something I never knew was possible, and it’s a feeling that grows with each passing day.
Because I haven’t forgotten these experiences—the highs and lows—I know that one day I will be ready for another child. But for now, I embrace my journey with Mia, savoring each moment as we continue to grow together.
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In summary, while I look forward to the future and the possibility of expanding our family, I am currently in a place of appreciating the journey I am on with my daughter.