15 Reasons Why I’m Choosing Not to Potty Train My Youngest

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Hey there, little one! You’re the baby of the family, and that’s a special title you’ll hold forever. You get to be the one who’s always too little, too cute, or just too perfect to rush into growing up. We’ll delight in your adorable mispronunciations and come up with secret words for things just to keep that precious innocence intact. We’ll even keep the baby toys around a little longer because we’re not quite ready to say goodbye to these sweet, cherubic moments.

But let me tell you, that’s not the reason I’m postponing your potty training journey.

You see, my darling, I’ve already been through the wringer with your siblings. Your big brother and sister have certainly kept me on my toes, and I’ve earned a break. Here are my reasons for delaying the potty training:

1. The battle of getting you to keep your undies on.
2. The chaos of keeping little boys from fiddling with their bits.
3. The ongoing inspection of drawers to figure out what’s going on down there.
4. The endless pee dribbles that seem to appear everywhere.
5. The stained mattresses that tell a story.
6. The mountain of laundry that never seems to shrink.
7. The splatter marks on the walls that I just can’t explain.
8. The unpleasant smell of urine lingering in every bathroom after multiple trials each day.
9. The constant hand-washing because tiny butts and big momma hands are a messy mix.
10. The splash zone created while trying to wash hands.
11. The debates over how much liquid is safe before bedtime.
12. The midnight wake-ups resulting from a single sip of water.
13. The panic over public restrooms that brings on meltdowns.
14. The wet car seats that keep making appearances.
15. The perpetual need to be on high potty alert.

Sure, I’ll happily help you when you ask, but let’s be real—do I really want to spend my days checking if you need to go every ten minutes? The diaper bag is meant for diapers only, and it’s time for it to retire, not to be repurposed for emergency changes because I rushed you out of Pull-Ups. It’s old, it’s tired, and it deserves a break in the backseat of the car, where it’ll only see the light of day once a week, if that!

Honestly, I’ve adopted a pretty laid-back approach to parenting right now, and potty training doesn’t fit in the picture. If you need to go and can’t handle pulling down your pants, just use the diaper, kiddo. You’re only two; it’s a bit early to be mastering the porcelain throne anyway. My to-do list is already overflowing without adding the task of watching you for every tiny drop of liquid. I’d rather not spend hours supervising you as you navigate the whole process, only to find a surprise later behind the stove.

So, I’m washing my hands of this whole thing. You’ll get the hang of it before kindergarten, I’m sure. And if not, maybe your dad will take the reins on this one.

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Summary:

Choosing to delay potty training for my youngest is all about embracing a more relaxed parenting approach after the challenges faced with older siblings. From the endless laundry to the chaos of public restrooms, I’m opting for the easy route for now, trusting that they’ll figure it out before kindergarten.