Before we discovered our youngest child had severe food allergies, we kept their emergency information on a wrinkled piece of paper stuffed in a drawer between a potato peeler and a corkscrew.
When Lily was just 8 months old, we visited the allergist, hoping to uncover the reasons behind her constant congestion and stubborn eczema. I walked in with optimism, but left feeling crushed. We found out that she was allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, and wheat. Our instructions were clear: always carry the EpiPen, avoid letting anyone who had even tasted peanuts get close, and schedule a follow-up.
In the weeks that followed, I shed tears as I pondered whether I could truly shield my daughter from an unexpected cashew or if I could trust anyone else to keep her safe. I worried she might miss out on the joys of being a typical kid. Those fears loomed large.
Fast forward a year, and while I still have concerns for my now 20-month-old daughter, managing her allergies has become our new normal. What once felt overwhelming has settled into a routine. If any of these scenarios resonate with you, welcome to the journey of parenting an allergic child, where finding a stray snack at the park can feel as perilous as encountering a rattlesnake!
- You don’t hesitate to inform anyone—whether a babysitter, a friend, or that overly chatty grandma waiting in line—“Please, don’t feed my child.” If it weren’t socially awkward, you’d consider a “Do Not Feed Me” sign.
- When you spot gluten-free, dairy-free chicken nuggets on sale, you buy as many packages as you can fit in your freezer.
- Your child’s favorite doll often suffers from “anaphylaxis” during playtime.
- You read food labels like a detective. You’re fluent in the 18-syllable terms that hide dairy, wheat, nuts, and eggs.
- You think nothing of rummaging through the trash at a friend’s house to grab food packaging and check the ingredients.
- Your toddler proudly tells babysitters that she knows how to use the EpiPen. While you’ve never confirmed this, you’re fairly certain she’s got it down after all the demonstrations.
- At any public place—a park, library, or friend’s home—you instinctively scan the ground for potential allergens. And you repeat this ritual whenever new kids arrive, even if no one new has come, just to be safe. You know others might label you a helicopter parent, but you’re too focused on rogue peanuts to care.
- When invited to events, you consider multiple factors: the time, your relationship with the host, how long you’ll stay, whether little ones will be munching on allergens, and the host’s familiarity with allergies. This mental checklist helps you decide how to approach the invitation—whether to attend, question the menu, or bring your own meal.
- Your child joyfully constructs “birthday cakes” out of blocks, declaring them “dairy-free and gluten-free.”
- You instill a healthy sense of caution in everyone who looks after your child, although you sometimes wish your mom would take it more seriously.
- You have your favorite local gluten-free bakery’s contact saved, along with their hours. You keep a stash of their cupcakes in the freezer for safe treats at parties.
- Your baby’s first experience with ice cream isn’t actually ice cream but rather vegan, gluten-free lemon basil gelato—not because you’re particularly health-conscious, but because it’s a necessity.
- Your sibling inundates you with photos of ingredient lists from potential snacks when you visit, ensuring they’re safe for your child. You’re incredibly grateful and feel guilty for how you treated them in your youth.
- The best birthday party you attended was the one where the host reached out beforehand to learn about your child’s allergies and made special allergen-free pancakes.
- When traveling, your diaper bag is packed with safe snacks for days on end, knowing that airplane snacks are never safe.
- You keep your child’s emergency information organized in a bright plastic folder, marked with neon duct tape listing all allergies and your address for emergency responders.
- You eagerly await the day your allergic child can articulate, “I have food allergies,” not just to hear her sweet voice but for the peace of mind it brings. But let’s be real, as a mom, the idea of getting better sleep feels like a distant dream.
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In summary, parenting a child with allergies introduces a unique set of norms and challenges. From reading labels diligently to keeping emergency information organized, these experiences shape a new normal. Embrace the journey, and remember, you’re not alone!