Updated: Aug. 1, 2023
Originally Published: Feb. 28, 2023
Living with anxiety can feel like an uphill battle, and having experienced my own struggles since childhood, I know how isolating it can be. As a child, I was bright and well-behaved, but I often found myself trapped in a whirlwind of irrational fears. I was convinced I would be blamed for things I didn’t do, like when a classmate drew on the wall or when a teacher shouted about rules during recess.
As a teenager, my fears evolved into phobias—like a paralyzing dread of flying or being in crowded places due to worries about safety. In my 20s, I sought help through cognitive behavioral therapy, embraced physical activity, and explored meditation and yoga. While many of my phobias diminished, new anxieties emerged, especially after becoming a parent. Now, my worries often center around managing motherhood, financial concerns, and even my own anxiety about feeling anxious.
Anxiety seems to run in families. Although my childhood circumstances likely contributed, I feel that I’m simply wired to be intense, perfectionistic, and sometimes obsessive. These traits can fuel creativity and productivity, yet they can also leave me feeling overwhelmed and fearful.
What complicates anxiety is its often invisible nature. Many people who experience it appear calm and collected on the outside, but internally, they may be grappling with intense fear and panic. It can be challenging for others to understand the depth of these feelings, especially when they seem irrational. When someone is caught in an anxiety episode, the last thing they need is to be told how to feel or think.
Here’s a list of six things to steer clear of when talking to someone with anxiety, along with some constructive ways to provide support:
- “But you don’t seem anxious.”
Just because someone appears composed doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling internally. If they open up about their anxiety, acknowledging their feelings is crucial. - “That’s not something to be afraid of.”
Anxieties may be grounded in reality, but anxiety often magnifies these fears beyond recognition. There’s no need to emphasize the irrationality; they already know it. - “Have you tried this medication or technique?”
While various treatments exist, what works for one person may not work for another. Each individual’s journey is unique, and it’s essential to respect that. - “Just snap out of it.”
If only it were that simple! Anxiety isn’t something that can be switched off; it often requires time and understanding to work through. - “I understand; I worry sometimes too.”
Worrying is not the same as experiencing an anxiety attack. It’s important to recognize the difference between common stress and the overwhelming experience of anxiety. - “You have so much to be grateful for.”
While gratitude is important, it doesn’t negate the reality of someone’s feelings. It’s essential to validate their emotions without making them feel guilty.
If you know someone struggling with anxiety, the best thing you can do is to listen and offer love. This means putting aside judgments, minimizing distractions, and providing a safe space for them to express their fears. Sometimes, a gentle touch on the shoulder can provide comfort, but mainly, being present and attentive is invaluable.
For those experiencing anxiety, seek out people who will listen without judgment. It’s perfectly acceptable to distance yourself from those who increase your anxiety or guilt. Remember, managing anxiety often involves a combination of therapy, medication, exercise, and self-care practices. You deserve to take the time to heal, and know that you are not alone in this journey.
For more insights on navigating anxiety and other related topics, you can explore additional resources on privacy policies at our blog.
In summary, being supportive means understanding the complexities of anxiety and choosing words wisely. Validate feelings, listen actively, and provide a nurturing environment.