Recently, a friend of mine shared her shock over a comment made on her friend Sarah’s Facebook post. I read the forwarded message in disbelief:
“Hey, sorry your kid is different, but God works in mysterious ways. 🙂 Enjoy.”
My heart sank. Instantly, I was transported back to my childhood, recalling the first time I encountered such cruelty. A boy named Tommy stood alone near the swings, surrounded by a group of kids who were throwing pebbles and taunting him. The chant of “Weirdo, Weirdo” echoed like a haunting reminder.
At the age of 6, I didn’t grasp the weight of those words. I went home laughing, repeating, “Weirdo, Weirdo. Tommy is a weirdo.” My usually gentle mother turned to me with a fierce glare. “What did you just say?” she asked sharply.
Confused, I replied, “Weirdo. There was a weirdo at the playground.”
“Don’t use that term. It’s a hurtful word,” she said, crouching down to meet my eyes. I felt small under her intense gaze. “He’s a person with a name. It’s Tommy.”
Her words resonated in my mind as I thought of Sarah’s precious son in a similar predicament. I imagined Ethan’s dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes filled with tears as a group of kids bullied him for being unique. Is that what lies ahead for him?
Ethan is just 5 years old. He has autism, but he is so much more than his diagnosis. Ethan adores Minecraft and constructs amazing Lego creations. He excels at math and shows potential as a future engineer. When his mother is feeling down, he notices and comforts her with, “I love you.”
Ethan. His name is Ethan.
Some who use derogatory terms may argue for “free speech,” saying, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a word. Weirdo. Don’t be so sensitive. I was joking.”
But there’s nothing amusing about a child like Tommy, standing alone in a circle of jeering peers, feeling like a spectacle at a circus. No one deserves that treatment, especially not a small child, and certainly not from an adult who ought to know better.
I cannot bear the thought of Ethan or any other child being mistreated for their differences. I didn’t help Tommy back then, but I can take action now. We all can. We can choose our language wisely and refuse to be passive observers.
Join the Movement
There’s a campaign called “R-Word: Spread the Word to End the Word,” dedicated to eliminating the use of derogatory terms for several important reasons:
- The R-word ISOLATES individuals with cognitive differences, suggesting they are unworthy of being included in society because of their uniqueness. This is absurd.
- The R-word DEHUMANIZES those with cognitive disabilities, making it easier for people to bully someone who lacks recognition as a person. Cruelty thrives on anonymity.
- The R-word HURTS individuals with cognitive differences, implying they have nothing valuable to offer the world, which is utterly ridiculous. So why use it at all?
Visitors to the R-Word website can take a pledge:
“I pledge to eliminate the derogatory use of the R-word from everyday language and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities.”
My path is clear. I choose Ethan and Tommy. I made this commitment the day I finished writing this piece. What will you choose?
March 2 is the day of awareness for “Spread the Word to End the Word.” Visit www.r-word.org to pledge to stop using the R-word.
This article was originally published on March 2, 2016.
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In summary, words matter. Choosing kindness over cruelty can make a difference in the lives of children like Ethan and Tommy. Let’s commit to treating everyone with dignity and respect.