Parenting
By Jordan Sutherland
Growing up in a house filled with brothers meant plenty of roughhousing, broken furniture, and a fridge that was always empty due to our endless appetites. So, when I first became a dad, I felt a sigh of relief when my first child was a boy. I was familiar with that territory and felt equipped to guide him through the journey of manhood.
However, the arrival of my first daughter brought a wave of anxiety. Caring for girls felt like stepping into uncharted waters. In retrospect, I chuckle at how naive I was. Caring for a baby, whether a boy or girl, is essentially the same. I changed diapers, sang lullabies, and offered comfort in the same loving way.
It was during my time as a stay-at-home dad that I began to realize the profound influence my presence might have on my daughters as they grew older. I pondered how witnessing their mother leave for work each day would shape their ambitions and perspectives about gender roles. Would they one day feel empowered to pursue their dreams, or would seeing their father at home inspire them to seek balance in their own lives?
That’s why I feel uneasy when fathers don shirts proclaiming rules for their daughters’ dating lives or post images of themselves brandishing weapons to intimidate potential suitors. While I believe in protecting my daughters, resorting to threats does nothing to foster respect or understanding. Instead of instilling fear, let’s teach young boys what true respect and compassion look like. Our daughters are not trophies to be won; they are invaluable treasures deserving of admiration.
Recently, I came across a soon-to-be father’s remark on social media wishing for his future daughter to be born unattractive. While it was likely a joke, it underscores a troubling mindset—that women need protection from men who only have one thing on their minds. This is precisely why we, as fathers, must better prepare our daughters for the world. Here’s a piece of advice for that new dad: Keeping your daughter sheltered will not yield positive outcomes. If you have a daughter, you’ll find her beautiful, and you’ll see reflections of yourself and your partner in her features. You’ll cherish every moment, from her laughter to her tiny toes.
As she grows, your instinct will be to shield her from potential harms, but the true magic lies in guiding her transformation from that helpless little girl to a confident teenager ready to take on the world. My daughters embody beauty, intelligence, and determination—qualities I admire in their mother, the very traits that drew me to her. Instead of fearing the attention they might attract, embrace the remarkable individuals they are.
I understand the anxiety—it’s a scary world out there, and it can be overwhelming to think of your daughters navigating it alone. However, shielding them from feelings like anger, fear, or sadness will only fuel their curiosity about what lies beyond.
Let’s empower our daughters with the skills they need to thrive. The tools you provide won’t come from intimidation but from instilling confidence in their wit, creativity, and strength. Let’s teach them to be inquisitive and independent, allowing them to make choices and learn from their experiences. When they stumble, be there to lift them up and encourage them to rise again.
In those early days, you’ll witness their curiosity unfold. You’ll want to help them reach that elusive block they’re after but will learn to let them try on their own. One day, after many attempts, they will finally succeed and look up at you with pride. In that moment, you’ll realize just how beautiful they are and hear them say, “Thanks, Dad.”
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In summary, fathers play a crucial role in empowering their daughters by modeling respect, strength, and independence. By fostering curiosity and resilience, we prepare them to navigate the world confidently.