As a parent, there are definitely things you should care about. The safety of your children tops the list. We’d go to great lengths to shield our little ones from harm, even putting ourselves at risk if it meant protecting them. Ensuring our kids feel loved and secure is a universal goal; our hearts are intrinsically linked to theirs, creating an invisible bond that remains, whether we are physically together or not.
So why is parenting often such a challenge? Part of it comes from the sheer physical demands of raising kids. Babies start off not sleeping, followed by endless whining, crying, and a knack for destroying your home. They seem to want to eat at all hours and invade your personal space. Even as they grow older, their need for attention can feel insatiable. Thus, despite the deep love we have for them, parenting can be an exhausting and relentless journey.
One of the most difficult aspects of parenting is the constant feeling of being judged. This is particularly true for new parents. Should you choose a natural birth or an epidural? Is breastfeeding or bottle-feeding better? Should your child sleep in a crib or co-sleep? I remember when I first became a mom; it felt like everyone had an opinion on how I should parent, and they were eager to share, whether I asked for it or not.
During that vulnerable time, I was particularly susceptible to unsolicited advice. Perhaps it was the hormones, or maybe the fact that I was younger and inexperienced. But mostly, it was the uncertainty of being a new parent, where every decision felt monumental.
Looking back, I realize that the choices I stressed over weren’t as significant as they seemed. Now that my children are older, I see that whether they wore cloth or disposable diapers, or whether my first child rejected solid food until he was nine months old, really didn’t matter. What was important was their safety and love. If those two aspects were assured, then I was succeeding as a parent.
So why did I stress over every little detail? And why do I still sometimes obsess about trivial matters instead of focusing on the broader picture? Most importantly, why do I let others’ opinions weigh on me?
The reality is that I am the mom—not the family members offering unsolicited advice, not the article online dictating developmental milestones, and certainly not the stranger at the playground who frowned when my child cried for Goldfish. Why should I give anyone else the power to dictate what matters in my parenting journey? We have the freedom to choose what deserves our attention.
I’m learning to embrace this philosophy as I navigate parenthood. You may be familiar with the KonMari method of decluttering, where you assess each item and ask, “Does this bring me joy?” While I don’t have the energy for deep cleaning with kids around, I can certainly adapt this mindset to parenting.
Here’s my approach: Whenever someone offers their unwanted opinion, or I find myself second-guessing a decision, I’ll ask, “Does this truly matter? Will it affect my children’s safety or happiness?” If the answer is no, then I’m letting it go.
I’m starting this practice today, and it feels liberating. That spilled cereal? No biggie. My toddler’s crankiness keeping him from preschool? Who cares? The crossing guard’s judgment because my child refused to wear his coat on a chilly morning? Not my concern!
Ultimately, my goal is to end each day surrounded by kids who feel loved and secure, ready to add their unique spark to the world. The rest? Just noise that I’ve decided to tune out.
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Summary
Parenting is tough, filled with physical demands and societal judgment. However, it’s essential to focus on what truly matters—your children’s safety and happiness. By disregarding unsolicited opinions and minor details, you can create a more joyful parenting journey. Embrace the freedom to choose what you care about, and let go of the rest.