As parents, we often hesitate to accept the idea that there are “easy” and “difficult” babies. We like to believe we have a firm grip on parenting, and when our little ones are fussy or challenging, guilt can quickly set in. It’s easy to feel like we’re failing, but the truth is that some baby behaviors are simply beyond our control. As Dr. Emily Grant pointed out in her recent article, “some babies are just inherently more challenging than others.”
In her insightful essay, pediatrician Emily Grant discusses the variances among children, noting that her experiences have shown her that some babies are just tougher to handle. Issues like poor sleep, picky eating, and attachment difficulties often lead parents to question their methods, yet Grant reassures us that these challenges don’t always reflect poor parenting. “Within the spectrum of developmentally normal children, some parents have a significantly harder time than others,” she writes. “Children are different… We celebrate our easy babies and often agonize when the more challenging ones act true to their nature.”
Grant shares her own experience, revealing that her first child was a notoriously bad sleeper, not achieving a full night’s rest until after turning two. In contrast, her second child was a champion sleeper right from the start, even though she used the same parenting techniques for both. This illustrates a key point: sometimes, it’s just the nature of the child, and no amount of advice will change that.
Of course, our choices and parenting styles do play a role. However, it’s crucial to recognize that children are individuals, and certain behaviors may be simply out of our hands. “While some challenges do stem from parental practices, many parents with two very different children know that much of it comes down to the kid you get,” she notes.
Parenting can feel like a daunting task, leaving us unsure if we’re doing it right. We often overestimate the control we have over our kids’ behaviors. If our child loves vegetables, we might attribute it to our perfect introduction of healthy foods. Conversely, if a child is still attached to a pacifier at four, we might worry we’ve failed them somehow. The reality is that we have far less influence than we think, and we should ease the pressure we place on ourselves and our kids. Children progress at their own pace, and most will ultimately turn out just fine. “Eventually, almost everyone masters potty training, says goodbye to the pacifier, and learns to sleep through the night,” writes Grant. “With time, both parents and children often look back with a smile.”
For more parenting insights and tips, check out our other blog posts, like this one on how to navigate early childhood challenges. If you’re exploring options for home insemination, resources like Healthline offer invaluable information, and Make a Mom provides excellent kits to assist you on your journey.
In summary, remember that you are not a bad parent; every child is unique, and some are simply more challenging than others. Embrace the journey and trust that you’re doing your best.