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- Parenting
By Lisa Thompson
Updated: March 18, 2023
Originally Published: March 18, 2023
Image Source: Sasa Dinic / iStock
The phrase “helicopter parent” often comes with a stigma. Many envision overzealous parents swooping in to control every detail of their children’s lives—being intrusive, overbearing, and sometimes irritating to teachers and more laid-back parents. Yet, this parenting style is increasingly common today, and I proudly embrace my identity as a helicopter mom. It’s simply how I approach motherhood.
My journey into helicopter parenting likely began to take shape as my children entered school. When my oldest child started kindergarten last year, the realization hit me hard. I found myself inventing reasons to contact his teacher just to stay connected to his day, feeling a sense of loss being away from him for those long eight hours. It was my first glimpse into my tendencies as a helicopter mom.
Looking back, it’s clear I’ve always had this inclination. No one who knows me would describe me as easygoing. Since my first child was born, I’ve been fully invested—monitoring every minor scrape, interpreting every tear, and carefully scrutinizing uneaten meals. I even prepare detailed, multi-page instructions for anyone caring for him, organized by time and topic, from meals to bedtime routines. And I manage my younger children in the same way.
I’m deeply involved in their lives. I read my first-grader’s journal, I tidy their rooms, and I know every detail about their friendships and school experiences. I’m familiar with their friends, their friends’ parents, their teachers, and even the principal. I volunteer for the PTA, attend every practice, game, and school event—it’s hard to miss anything when you’re so present.
As my kids grow, I recognize that my role as a helicopter mom will become more demanding. I’m committed to staying informed about their lives. Do I believe in letting them navigate their own paths? Absolutely. But I prefer to know their choices, even if I’m not always in the spotlight. I’ll be right offstage, ready to support them if they stumble.
I understand that helicopter moms can sometimes go too far, potentially hindering a child’s development by stepping in too often. Privacy is often scarce around me. Go ahead and criticize me for peeking into my child’s diary—he’s just seven and writes about Minecraft and Pokémon. There’s nothing he shares that surprises me.
When my kids reach their teenage years, will I change? Likely not. I remember my own adolescence, feeling unheard despite my written cries for help. Eventually, someone did notice and intervened, and I want to be that vigilant parent for my kids. I believe my responsibility is to be attuned to their needs and to step in before it’s too late.
I don’t foresee easing up on my helicopter mom duties. If anything, I expect them to intensify. My mission as a mother is to ensure their safety, and if that means hovering over them like a protective helicopter, then so be it.
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In summary, embracing my role as a helicopter mom is not just about control; it’s about being involved, aware, and ready to support my children as they grow. While I may face criticism, my commitment to their safety and well-being remains unwavering.