Hey there, tiny superstar! You’ve probably heard the saying, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Or maybe not—after all, you’re just a few months into this world. But trust me, as your loving mother, that’s the advice everyone gives.
Now, let’s talk about this “nap” that you seem to think lasts for 32 minutes. I’m not one of those miraculous people who can just shut their eyes and drift off instantly—that’s your dad’s specialty. You see, by the time I’ve spent 31 minutes contemplating what dinner might look like, whether we’ll ever manage to scrub that permanent marker off your sibling, and a few regrettable choices from my college days, there’s barely a minute left before you’re wide awake again. Yes, I studied English, but there’s your first lesson in math!
On second thought, maybe sleep isn’t the answer. Once you finally slip into Baby Dreamland, I have a list of things to tackle. Let the dog outside? Check. A quick shower? Yes, please. Sanitize your teethers, clean the floor, and wipe down any surfaces that have become your personal canvas for spit-up? Absolutely. Oh, and I really could use a snack that isn’t just a slice of cheese. Can we aim for something closer to 90 minutes? An hour would be a dream!
I understand that every baby is unique, but your sibling used to nap for two hours without a care in the world. When we decided to have a second child, we imagined a repeat of that. “This is going to be manageable!” we foolishly thought. Apparently, there’s an unspoken parenting rule that states only one child gets to be the good sleeper—look it up, it’s probably in the fine print somewhere—and our allotted time has clearly been used up.
When those dark circles first appeared under my eyes, well-meaning friends suggested I was doing it all wrong. “He should be on a schedule by now,” they insisted. “You just need to make him sleep.” Oh, what a revelation! How could I have missed that? If only there were a way to prolong those precious nap moments.
I researched white noise and set up a powerful fan in your room, along with an app that mimics airplane sounds. I also tried silence, and you woke up to the sounds of the garbage truck, the dryer, and even a meowing cat outside. You then managed a thrilling 20 minutes of sleep instead of the hoped-for 32.
I held you close, thinking maybe you’d nap better snuggled up to me, but nope—32 minutes was all you wanted. I even tried motion, taking you for drives while hoping for a longer respite, but we always ended up back home just 32 minutes later. Timing is everything, they say, so I became an expert at reading your little face for signs of sleepiness. “Don’t put him down too early!” they warned. “Only when he’s tired!” Well, my tiny friend, I still can’t crack your wakefulness code, but I can predict the moment those droopy eyelids snap back open!
I get it, being a baby is not easy. Your warm, cozy womb is gone, your head feels like it has a mind of its own, and teething is no walk in the park. I’m on your side, kiddo, but I need more than a 32-minute break to muster up enough sympathy.
So until then, I’ll be that parent in the grocery store, rocking your covered stroller back and forth as we inch closer to that crucial half-hour mark. I’ll try to ignore your curious little eyes peeking out because once you see me, it’s game over. But the instant you flash that smile, I remind myself just how lucky I am to have you.
It’s a good thing you’re so irresistibly cute when you’re awake!
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Summary:
This humorous piece captures the struggles of a mother dealing with her baby’s short 32-minute naps. Despite her efforts to extend nap time through various strategies, she finds herself juggling household tasks while longing for a more restful break. The relatable challenges of parenting and the joy that comes with a baby’s smile are highlighted throughout.