Let’s face it: my body has its quirks. My chest is ample, I bear a C-section scar, and it’s been ages since I caught a glimpse of my abs—hard to believe it’s been since 2002! I’ve got stretch marks adorning my thighs, waist, and even under my arms (seriously, what’s up with that?). My thighs are more like tree trunks, and don’t even get me started on my backside.
I’m carrying around an extra 20 pounds, and while I dream of shedding that baby weight, I know my kids are already 10 and 12. So yes, a girl can dream, right? No amount of airbrushing, spray tanning, or makeup artistry could recreate the flat stomach I once had in my twenties.
On a typical day, my bras have enough underwire to support a small building, and my underwear feels more like armor than anything remotely “lacy” or “sexy.” The thought of zippers on jeans makes me twitch, and I’ve pretty much accepted that my pre-kids wardrobe is a thing of the past.
But guess what? I still proudly don a bikini.
After my son was born, I embarked on the all-too-familiar quest to find the “perfect mom-bod bathing suit.” I scoured every corner for a black swimsuit that offered padding, full coverage, and support for The Girls—all while managing to make me look 30 pounds lighter. And, of course, it had to have ruching. I had no idea what that was, but I just knew I needed it to hide the evidence of motherhood and my so-called “imperfections.”
The ideal suit, in my mind, required a skirted bottom and a tank top, long enough to cover my less-than-frequent bikini waxes and padded to disguise my breastfeeding nipples. By the time I finally found a suit that ticked all those boxes, I felt like a 90-year-old Amish grandmother.
But here’s the kicker: I’m done wasting precious time worrying about what society thinks a mom should wear to the pool. The hours spent searching, trying on, and returning bathing suits just isn’t worth it anymore.
I love bikinis, and that’s what I choose to wear. And I believe you should too!
My body has nurtured two little humans for ten months each. I’ve completed six marathons and nourished two babies with milk that came from breasts that grew to epic proportions. My husband gives me those “you look amazing” looks more often than I can count, and at 40, I’ve decided my “give a damn” is officially broken.
I won’t hide my stretch marks with a cover-up. I couldn’t care less what you think about my soft, marshmallow-like belly. And if you happen to notice my nipples peeking through my bikini, well, maybe you should stop staring so much (seriously, dude, take a picture; it’ll last longer).
Every day, we read articles promoting body positivity and empowering our daughters, yet we’re bombarded by images of celebrities looking flawless in tiny swimsuits, thanks to airbrushing and an army of beauty experts. As soon as swimsuit season rolls around, our feeds are flooded with tips to look our best, ads for magic swimsuits that promise to make us look 50 pounds lighter, and pictures of women who seem more computer-generated than real.
Enough of that!
Why can’t we all just agree to wear what we want at the pool and enjoy a good time? Honestly, I admire the woman who strolls to the snack stand in a bikini, jiggly thighs and all, more than the one flaunting washboard abs. I’m far more impressed by the mom who confidently reveals her post-baby breasts than by the woman floating effortlessly in the deep end thanks to silicone implants.
It’s those brave women who embrace their “flaws” in a world obsessed with unrealistic beauty that I want beside me on the beach. They’re the ones keeping it real, and I salute them in solidarity. Together, we say, “This is me, take it or leave it, and if you don’t like it, go back to admiring the Barbie in the pool” (no offense to Barbie—she seems lovely).
So, if you need me, I’ll be slathering sunscreen on my pale stomach as I settle my wobbly thighs into a beach chair, watching my kids have a blast in the water.
And by the way, if you happen to know what ruching is, keep it to yourself. My abs are enjoying the sunshine just fine.
For more insights on body positivity and motherhood, check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination. And if you’re looking for resources on artificial insemination, Make A Mom is a great authority on the subject. Additionally, WebMD offers excellent information regarding pregnancy and insemination.
In summary, every body has its story, and we should celebrate our journeys with confidence. Life is too short to hide behind insecurities—let’s embrace who we are, stretch marks and all!