Let’s face it: sometimes, you actually manage to put on makeup, take a shower, and squeeze into some form of shaping undergarment. (Quick question: who actually knows how to use those bodysuits for bathroom breaks? That’s some serious talent!) In short, you’re ready to bring your mom A-game.
Maybe it’s a wedding or simply a much-needed date night. Either way, it’s time to capture the moment.
“Okay, selfie time!”
Now, don’t get me wrong—this isn’t the 25-year-old Jamie flaunting new jewelry or a trendy bikini.
“Ugh, look at that girl. She probably enjoyed a full night’s sleep just because she felt like it. So unfair!”
But hey, you did manage to shower, and you have a babysitter on hand. So let’s flaunt that on Instagram and give yourself a pat on the back for not resembling a troll guarding a bridge for once (the joys of motherhood, am I right?). This got me thinking: what if social media showcased the real, unfiltered lives of moms rather than just their highlight reels?
For fun, I thought I’d share what authentic motherhood would look like if every selfie told the truth.
Rise and Shine, 5 a.m.
“#morninghair #pajamalife”
“Time to feed the little monsters.”
Oh wait, they’d rather feed you than eat themselves. (If you’re thinking, “Wow, she just called her kids monsters,” come hang out with my kids at mealtime and see if you’d choose a different nickname.)
“#aintnobodygottimeforthat”
Forget hashtags like #nofilter or #nomakeup—people will catch on eventually.
“#oldmanbaby”
Off to work?
“#whateverworks”
Or maybe a quick errand?
“#wallofHOTTIES”
Who knows what the day holds! Just remember to pull those control tops up and embrace it.
“#ohmylanta”
Accept that personal space is a thing of the past. The sooner you come to terms with it, the easier it gets.
“#helpme”
Everyone else would be fast asleep except you.
“#tomorrowwillsuck”
Victory selfies are a must.
“#napbattle”
And don’t forget the pediatrician waiting selfies!
“#waitingforever”
You might find yourself wearing a coat indoors just to avoid waking that teething little bundle of joy.
“#DONTmove”
Food will fly your way, and laughter will follow.
“#delicious”
When it’s time for a ladies’ night out post-baby, you might find yourself texting friends, “Does this outfit work? Am I adulting correctly?”
“#WhoaMama”
Then there are those selfies in mismatched outfits…
“#colorblindgymteacher”
There’s bound to be at least one child in tears…
“#nobodyshares”
I like to call this one: Friday Night!
“#CLUBtubbytime”
You’ll have moments of panic when you realize you have five minutes to leave and your hair is a mess!
“#prayer”
Glad I can turn EXHIBIT A into EXHIBIT B in 10 minutes flat.
At this point, it’s a fire drill.
“#sorcery”
Or maybe, just maybe, you’re blissfully sipping coffee in the airport cell phone lot, enjoying a rare 40 minutes of personal space.
“#preciousalonetime”
To all the moms out there with boogers on your jacket, remember you’re not alone. For every perfectly filtered picture, there’s also a mom who’s been peed on.
“#somebodysmother”
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Summary
Mom selfies often showcase only the polished moments, but real motherhood is filled with chaotic, unfiltered experiences. From early mornings to pediatrician visits, every day is an adventure. Embracing the messiness can bring a sense of camaraderie among mothers, reminding us we’re all in this together.