“Is your other child typical?”
How would you feel if someone posed that question to you? I found myself grappling with this inquiry recently. Before I share my response, let’s first examine the definition of “typical.” According to Oxford Dictionaries, “typical” means “conforming to a standard; usual, or expected.” This implies that the person was suggesting my son didn’t measure up to society’s expectations for a 7-year-old. He is different, and that’s what makes him extraordinary.
You know what? It fills me with pride to celebrate my son’s uniqueness. I cherish the fact that he approaches life on his own terms and at his own rhythm, completely unfazed by the expectations of others. Seeing him express joy through flapping, making high-pitched sounds, or spinning around brings me endless delight. Watching him whip up his own culinary creations, like pizza with custard or yogurt mixed with mashed potatoes, is nothing short of refreshing. He has a fascination with elevator doors that surpasses any interest in toys, and I can’t help but laugh as we dance around, reveling in the amusing sight of a stranger using a hand dryer in a public restroom.
He is hilarious, full of energy, and yes, he sometimes thinks he knows better than me when it comes to shopping for clothes. All these traits are completely typical for a boy his age! He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and a keen interest in technology. He is perfectly average in height and weight—and even his shoe size is right on point!
So, why did this stranger feel compelled to ask if my other child was typical? She looked at my son and focused on his differences: his challenges with speech, balance, and unique mannerisms. To her, he seemed less than ordinary. Her question suggested that I should feel sorrow for having such a remarkable child, that I should lament the extra support he needs at 7 years old, or that I should be disheartened by his current struggles with potty training and communication.
I choose not to judge this stranger. Why? Because at one time, I shared similar feelings. I mourned for the milestones my son had yet to achieve. I felt the weight of pushing him in a chair during the years he couldn’t walk. I longed to hear his voice.
But my perspective has shifted. Now, I see my son as beautiful and incredible. He is typical, just as his sister is typical too. The dictionary defines “typical” as conforming to a standard. If we consider that standard to be simply “being human,” then there is truly no such thing as not being typical.
So, how did I respond to the stranger? I simply smiled and said, “Yes, I am fortunate to have two amazing children. Thank you!”
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In summary, “normal” is a fluid concept that varies from person to person. Embracing our children’s uniqueness allows us to redefine what it means to be typical, revealing the beauty in our differences.