Parenting
Rainy days with a newborn may not be ideal, but they can be quite manageable. Being stuck indoors longer than desired isn’t exactly enjoyable, but as many tired parents can attest, newborns often nap throughout the day, leaving plenty of quiet time. It’s far more pleasant to be inside with a sleeping infant than to deal with an energetic toddler eager to expend their boundless energy. I’ve noticed many of my fellow mom friends on social media expressing their frustration over the dreary weather, looking for indoor activities, or lamenting the weather reports.
My perspective is a bit different. I completely understand the struggle; there have certainly been moments when my son pleaded to go outside, only for me to remind him that it was a freezing, rainy day. However, now that I’ve emerged from the cloud of postpartum depression and anxiety that shadowed the first couple of years of motherhood, I’ve come to see rainy days as a chance to practice gratitude.
Getting pregnant with my son wasn’t a straightforward journey. Unlike my sisters, who conceived with ease, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) at 16, which meant I wasn’t even thinking about having kids at that time. Yet, the desire to be a mother has always been a part of me. When asked about my future aspirations, my response was simply, “a mother.” As I grew older, I felt a bit like a traitor to feminism, especially as I observed peers prioritizing ambitious careers over motherhood. I silenced the voice inside that longed for motherhood and conformed to societal expectations as we transitioned into our post-secondary lives.
Hearing that conceiving would be challenging at 16 didn’t hit me as hard as hearing it again in my late 20s while actively trying to fulfill that dream. We knew the path would be rocky, less romantic and more procedural, and that it might take longer than we hoped. What we didn’t anticipate was how utterly heartbreaking and exhausting the experience would be. Our once-solid relationship, carefully nurtured before considering parenthood, began to falter under the strain.
Eventually, feeling emotionally drained, we decided to step back from our attempts at conception. Though my heart ached, I realized my body was relieved. To avoid further arguments, I chose to focus on my health rather than the baby I desperately wanted. After the toll of fertility medications wreaked havoc on my body, I turned to acupuncture and Chinese herbs to heal. I adopted a vegan lifestyle, and miraculously, our marriage began to thrive again, rejuvenating like a dried sponge soaking up water. We replaced medical appointments with gym visits, hiking, and even a Caribbean cruise.
Six months later, we were in a much better place, and the painful memories of our four-year infertility struggle began to fade into the background. Just when we least expected it, I found out I was pregnant—no medications, no procedures, and no planning involved. I spent the first half of my pregnancy in disbelief, fearing I’d somehow jinx it. Although I sidestepped morning sickness, the following months were fraught with challenges including migraines and preeclampsia, transforming my pregnancy into a high-stress experience with numerous hospital visits.
So focused was I on ensuring a healthy baby that I scarcely had a moment to relish the miracle of being pregnant. When my due date arrived, I was eager for the end. After 14 hours of labor, an emergency C-section became necessary, and despite my fear, having my husband by my side offered comfort. Hearing our son’s first cry was a moment of pure joy. All the years of heartache melted away, and I felt whole.
Now, on those rainy days when the house feels small and the hours drag, I take a moment to appreciate my son—his tousled blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. I remember our painful journey to parenthood, and my heart swells with gratitude. I am thankful for him, for the joy he brings, and for the universe’s gift of his gentle spirit.
Gratitude shines even brighter on rainy days. If you’re interested in exploring home insemination options, check out this article on intracervical insemination. For those considering at-home insemination methods, Make a Mom provides an excellent resource. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, Healthline is an invaluable resource.
Summary:
This piece reflects on the journey of motherhood, highlighting the bittersweet experiences of conceiving and the joy of appreciating daily moments with a child. Despite the challenges faced, the author embraces gratitude and cherishes the parenting journey, even on rainy days.