I can’t count how many times I’ve found myself saying, “We’re doing well,” over the past few years to family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. With a son who has significant medical challenges, a full-time job that keeps me on my toes, and a spirited preschooler, I often hear the question (out of genuine concern), “How are you managing everything?” My immediate response is typically, “We’re doing well!” or “I’m okay!” This has become my go-to phrase, even as I chuckle to myself on the inside.
The truth is, I haven’t truly felt “well” in ages. How could I?
How can I be okay when there’s no advance notice for when my child might need “routine” surgery? And I’d love to hear from any parent who has faced their child’s operation if the term “routine” does anything to ease their anxiety or quell the visions of worst-case scenarios that race through their minds. But I digress.
How can I feel fine when my little one has undergone multiple surgeries, numerous medical procedures, and has spent a significant chunk of his early life in a hospital bed?
How can I say I’m doing okay when I can’t predict when he’ll be back in that hospital, while I’m there, praying alongside the rhythm of the ventilator, oscillating between hope and dread for what tomorrow may hold?
But here’s the thing: despite the heartache and overwhelming responsibility, in many ways, I genuinely am doing well. Amid the fear, fatigue, and endless “what-ifs” that accompany raising a child with special needs, our lives are rich with boundless love and laughter. We cherish every precious moment life offers us.
I doubt there’s a family more attuned to the joy that each day can bring. Every milestone is celebrated with pure and unrestrained happiness, and each time my child wraps his little arms around my neck, that moment becomes the most important one in the world.
So, what do I want you to understand?
Even though I can’t claim to be truly “okay,” I still find a way to embrace life’s beauty.
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In summary, while life is filled with challenges, it can also be filled with joy and love, and that’s what keeps us moving forward.