Parenting
Colic Is No Walk in the Park
by Sarah Johnson
Updated: Dec. 17, 2020
Originally Published: May 9, 2016
Five hours after his arrival, baby Carter let out a wail that felt like it could shatter windows. He was feeding well, appeared healthy, and had done his business. We even checked for any stray hairs wrapped around his tiny fingers or toes—nothing odd there.
We tried the swaddle. Still, the screaming continued. I cradled him on my chest, skin to skin. He screamed. My partner, Mike, rocked him, jiggled him, whispered soothing sounds, and bounced him gently. Yet, the cries persisted. After an hour of this chaos, we called the nurse.
“Our baby won’t stop crying,” I admitted, feeling the weight of parenting failure already. “Is there something you can give us?”
“Maybe try Mylicon,” she suggested, barely masking her impatience. “I can’t bring it to you, though.”
Finally, Mike discovered the secret: the football hold. With Carter nestled in his arm, he finally calmed down, and we managed to catch a few precious moments of sleep after three hours of relentless crying.
As it turned out, three hours was only the beginning for Carter. Night after night, his cries echoed through our home. We tried Mylicon, tummy massages, leg bicycling, every gas drop on the shelf, even homeopathic remedies. Nothing worked, and often both Carter and I were left in tears.
When nursing, he would latch, suck, pull away, and scream—over and over. I often found myself counting those sucking moments, pleading with him to nurse just a bit longer. I worried about his nutrition.
“I should just stop breastfeeding,” I sobbed to Mike. “I’m hurting him.”
“You’ve got this,” he reassured me. “It’s not your fault.”
When Carter wasn’t crying, he was an absolute joy—affectionate, easygoing, and adorable. It was just the home nights that brought the chaos.
So what’s a parent to do with a baby who cries incessantly? In our case, it was all about handing him to Dad. Mike could manage that football hold for hours, bouncing on a yoga ball while reading film critiques online. This could go on for up to five hours nightly, while I snatched a few moments of sleep between nursing sessions.
A visit to the doctor led us to the dreaded diagnosis: colic. Translation: We’re not sure what’s going on, so good luck!
I knew something wasn’t right. I had seen Carter smile, and I didn’t buy into the whole “infants cry to strengthen their lungs” narrative. With him strapped to my chest, I turned to Google, diving into research about infant health.
It turned out my baby had silent reflux. The cradle cap rash all over his body? Likely a sign of an allergy to something in my milk—probably dairy or soy proteins.
I stormed back to the pediatrician’s office armed with research and a crying baby. After observing the suck-suck-scream pattern, she finally relented. “Okay, let’s try this reflux medication.”
We began treatment with rising hopes. That evening, Mike bounced Carter yet again for hours, accompanied by the familiar sounds of anguish. I started nursing him while he was upright in a carrier, and he slept in a swing. The gentle rocking seemed to provide some relief. Eventually, we co-slept, allowing him to nurse more easily. But our doctor was starting to express concern about his weight gain.
I cut out dairy and soy—absolutely no cheese, butter, or soy products. It takes a while for dietary changes to take effect, so we tried another medication. Carter went from a cuddly baby to one who shunned touch. After a day, I stopped that treatment. Another drug led to an allergic reaction that landed us in the emergency room.
Finally, I insisted on a specific treatment recommended by medical experts specializing in infant reflux. The doctor agreed, and just like that, the crying subsided. Carter was four months old, and Mike hadn’t had a proper sleep since the day he was born.
I avoided dairy for an entire year and soy until Carter turned nine months. I found the best alternatives for milk and cream, but I developed a hatred for soy-free cheese substitutes. Every restaurant visit involved detailing allergies, and every dish from relatives required a thorough inquiry. My mom thought I was being overly cautious until she witnessed Carter scream all night because a server didn’t understand that butter equated to dairy. That certainly silenced the critics.
Now, at six years old, my son is a cheerful little guy, far removed from those colicky days. He still has some food intolerances, but we’ve learned to manage them. Our next two children also experienced colic, but we recognized it as reflux and acted quickly. It was tough for a couple of weeks, not four months.
In the end, we persevered through the frustration of a screaming baby, the toll it took on our ears, and Mike’s aching arm. I overcame my doubts about my ability to nurse and my parenting skills. I cried often, and the joy of having a baby felt overshadowed by colic.
But we made it through. Other parents can too. Mike ensured I had time to recharge (mostly to catch some sleep), so I wasn’t left alone with a crying baby. I also took moments for myself, even if it was just to relax in a bath. We didn’t reach out for help, but I wish we had—many are willing to lend a hand, even if it’s just to hold a baby for an hour.
Eventually, the screaming stopped. Colic doesn’t last forever; most cases let up by four months, even if there’s no identifiable cause. It’s okay to feel frustrated during this time. I certainly did. And if the crying becomes overwhelming, it’s alright to step away for a moment to preserve your sanity. It’s natural to grieve the idealized version of the baby you thought you’d have—the cuddly, sleepy one. I mourned that vision deeply. But just as I thought I might lose my mind, it all came to an end.
What can I say about colic? It truly is a challenge.
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Summary:
Colic is an exhausting ordeal for new parents, filled with sleepless nights and frustration. However, seeking help, understanding the potential causes, and finding effective treatments can make a significant difference. The journey may be tough, but it’s essential to remember you’re not alone in this experience.