Every morning in our house begins with a delightful burst of energy as my little ones bounce on our bed. We have a queen-sized mattress paired with a single boxspring on the floor, turning it into an irresistible trampoline for my boys. They can’t hurt anything, and the falls are minimal, so I find myself saying, “Yes, jump away! Just be careful not to somersault over your little brother.”
Saying yes to my kids can be an easy, joyful experience. “Yes, you can wear your superhero costume to the park!” “Yes, ice cream for breakfast is a treat we can have today!” Yet, there are moments when agreeing feels like a struggle, requiring me to suppress my inner voice of reason. It’s not all carefree fun when it comes to this ‘yes’ philosophy.
The Challenge of Coloring
Take coloring, for instance. Like many, I prefer to stay within the lines, believing that’s the point. But my boys often see things differently, opting for wild, extravagant colors that make my heart sink a little. I catch myself thinking, “Can’t you just color on a blank page instead?” However, when I see their disappointment, I realize that they don’t want to create what I envision. They want to express themselves in their own unique way.
Managing Expectations
This is where I find the challenge in saying yes: managing my expectations. We often expect that markers aren’t for decorating faces, puddles shouldn’t be for jumping, and that certain things belong in the trash. Our instinct is to say no, having been conditioned to maintain order as parents.
Recognizing this ingrained “no” is the first step toward embracing a more affirmative approach. We need to shift our perspectives and see the world through our children’s eyes. Beds can be for jumping, ketchup may taste great on chips, and mud can be fun to play in—even if it means a messy cleanup later. Why not run barefoot down the hiking trail or wear a swimsuit to the store? The reflexive no can be challenged; we can choose to say yes instead.
Embracing the Chaos
Adapting our expectations can be daunting. Saying yes means accepting dirty faces, mismatched outfits, and climbing up the slide instead of down. It can even make you feel like a rebel among other parents. “Why do they get to jump in the puddle while I have to keep my shoes clean?” you might wonder. “Why can’t I wade in the creek, or why is that child covered in marker?” Some parents may even look at you with envy, as you embrace the chaos that comes with saying yes.
Just the other day, my son wore his dinosaur outfit to the grocery store, and we received smiles and high-fives from strangers. A teenager even said, “If you can’t dress up as a dinosaur while you’re five, when will you ever?”
Conclusion
Remember, your kids will only be little once. Let go of that internalized “no” and allow them the freedom to explore their world. We all have plenty of time ahead to conform to societal norms—like shopping in sensible clothes or coloring neatly inside the lines. For now, let’s give our children this gift of permission so they can hear yes a little more often. In doing so, we can also reclaim some joy for ourselves.
Take a deep breath and embrace the moment. Say yes.
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