A colorful stack of papers sits on my kitchen counter, waiting for my attention. With just a couple of weeks to fill them out, I know I’ll tackle them sooner rather than later. My youngest son is heading to kindergarten, and as the youngest of my three boys, this milestone has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions. I once dreaded the thought of having no little ones at home, of everyone being off on their own adventures. But now, as I approach this paperwork stage, a sense of excitement begins to bubble up within me.
I’m not alone in recognizing that this marks a significant transition for my family. I’ve lost track of how often I’ve been asked, “So, what are you going to do with your time now?” Each inquiry sends me into a slight panic. I fumble for answers, mentioning plans to volunteer more at school or even considering taking the CBEST to become a substitute teacher—flexible part-time work sounds appealing. “I’m sure I’ll find something,” I often reply, unsure of what that “something” really is.
As I navigate these conversations, I notice approving nods from those around me, as if they expect that once my children are off to school, my role should shift toward selflessness—giving back to the school, organizing events, or getting a “real” job. While I appreciate the importance of volunteering and supporting our schools, the truth is, I’m not eager to dive into these activities full-time. Sure, I plan to volunteer more often—maybe twice a month—but I won’t be stepping into a classroom as a substitute.
What I really envision is a cozy little coffee shop nearby where I can cultivate my passions. Yet, I hesitate to share this dream with those who constantly ask how I will fill my newfound time. A part of my reluctance stems from the fear of failure; if my writing aspirations don’t pan out, I’d rather not face judgment from the PTA and my family. But deeper than that, I feel an unspoken pressure to continue the narrative of self-sacrifice that often accompanies motherhood. It seems that once a woman becomes a mother, her ambitions should take a backseat.
For the last decade, I’ve been immersed in the beautiful chaos of motherhood—navigating pregnancy, nursing, and the everyday challenges that come with raising children. It’s been a privilege, but it has also been exhausting. I’ve managed to squeeze in some writing here and there, but my original dream was to be a full-time writer. With all my kids now in school, I finally have the chance to pursue that goal. And I intend to embrace it.
I admire those who find fulfillment in supporting our schools and teachers. Their dedication is inspiring and adds richness to my children’s educational experience. However, I believe we need to challenge the notion that motherhood should solely revolve around self-sacrifice. This expectation can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, perpetuating an outdated narrative that dismisses women’s ambitions after they become mothers.
I want to tell my sons a different story—one that celebrates ambition and dreams. Yes, women can pursue their passions alongside raising children. Yes, women can chase their dreams. Just watch me.
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In summary, as my children embark on their own journeys in school, I am ready to embrace my own adventures, pursuing my passions and dreams without the weight of outdated expectations.