When it comes to parenting styles, I recently came across three categories that made my heart race: indulgent, neglectful, and authoritarian. Just reading those terms sends shivers down my spine. The thought of aligning with even half of the traits associated with them fills me with dread.
Have you ever given your kids something they desperately wanted? Yes, those flashy headphones by Dr. Dre that they begged for? BINGO! That’s an indulgent moment right there. What about the week when dinner was a forgotten concept, and takeout became the norm? BINGO again! You just marked the neglectful box.
Then there was that time you held your ground about not getting them a smartphone, even though all their friends had one. Winner! Stack those red markers in the authoritarian category.
Parenting is the cornerstone of my life, consuming my thoughts from dawn till dusk. It fuels me, and I cherish being a mother to my three children. Yet, despite two decades of experience, I often feel like I’m stumbling through the dark. The fear can sometimes overwhelm me, making me question everything I do.
I find solace in whispering affirmations at night: “Forgive yourself as you forgive them.” I carry a note in my purse that reads, “Mistakes are a part of learning.” A yellow Post-It above my dresser reminds me, “You don’t just move on; you learn.” These little nuggets of wisdom keep me grounded as I navigate the unpredictable landscape of parenting.
Every time I think I’ve finally got a handle on things, the dynamics shift. It’s reminiscent of feeling invisible as a child in a crowded room, a wound that keeps me second-guessing if I’m truly meeting my children’s needs. Striking a balance between giving them independence and being their guiding force is tricky.
Now, my three kids look to me for support, love, and sometimes to challenge my authority. They’ve always found safety in my presence. I remember when they were little, needing to peek at me while I showered, their father holding them just so, so they wouldn’t scream. The intensity of their need for “Mama” had me singing through tears, water cascading around me.
Fast forward to today, and I can shower without an audience. I marvel at those days when I had to announce every mundane trip to the bathroom or laundry room. The air feels lighter now, but as my youngest turns 13, I realize he is now the one navigating his own journey through the darkness of adolescence. Is he a boy or a young man? It’s his path to discover, and I must remember to allow him that space.
He’s caught between the nostalgia of childhood and the pressures of growing up, making it even harder to please the world around him. When he hands me an invitation to a disagreement, I know I don’t have to engage. Instead, I can stand with my arms wide open, ready to catch him if he needs me. Ultimately, the choice of whether to lean into me is his.
As I reflect on this journey, I remind myself that parenting is about connection, understanding, and the unconditional love we share. For more insights on family and parenting, check out our blog at Home Insemination Kit and learn about topics like fertility at Make a Mom. If you’re seeking more guidance on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent resources.
In summary, parenting is a complex blend of love, fear, and growth. It’s about learning to forgive ourselves while we support our children through their own journeys, holding space for them as they become who they are meant to be.