A while back, I stumbled upon a lively discussion on a parenting forum where one parent poured her heart out, lamenting that her child didn’t seem destined for “gifted” status. She was overwhelmed with worry about her child’s future as an “average” kid. Really?
When my son was born, I, too, harbored dreams for him—maybe he’d become a scientist or a leader who changes the world. It’s only natural for parents to envision their children achieving great things. However, as he grew, I began to recognize his unique strengths and interests, realizing my lofty expectations were more about my aspirations than his own.
But why have we come to believe that a fulfilling life depends on being extraordinary? What happened to celebrating the beauty of being average? We should encourage our children to thrive within their own abilities instead of imposing our dreams on them. Sure, my son could be the next great innovator or an inspiring figure, but he might also just live a comfortable, fulfilling life without fame or fortune. Perhaps he’ll attend a decent college, settle into a steady job, and enjoy a peaceful family life. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.
As parents, we all desire the best for our kids, wishing for them to have better lives than we did. However, this pursuit has sadly morphed into an exhausting race where we drain our children of their joy. We’ve transformed reasonable expectations into an unhealthy competition, where the only markers of success are elite schools and accolades. Terms like “gifted” and “exceptional” hold no allure for me. In fact, the pressure we place on children often leads to burnout and disillusionment, making them resent school and life itself. Have we considered the heartbreaking stories of kids who feel that they can’t measure up and tragically choose to end their struggles?
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have standards or expect our children to strive for success. What it does mean is that we should respect their individuality, their limits, and their passions. The ultimate goal of parenting should be to nurture happiness, love, and unconditional support. Don’t we all just want our kids to find joy in their lives, even if it doesn’t align with society’s definition of success? I hope we can embrace that idea.
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In summary, let’s shift our focus from raising ‘exceptional’ children to nurturing happy, well-rounded individuals who thrive in their own unique way.