In recent times, social media was shaken by a viral clip featuring men reading some of the harsh tweets directed at two female reporters. These tweets exemplify the widespread, unyielding, and often distressing harassment that exists online. I’ve watched the video multiple times, growing increasingly frustrated by my own indifference while witnessing these courageous women confront the awful comments they seem to accept as normal, while men awkwardly regurgitate them.
Online harassment is not a new issue. As a woman, I’ve unfortunately learned to navigate a landscape where sharing my thoughts often invites aggression. Therefore, the video didn’t catch me off guard.
What truly infuriated me more than the comments themselves was the realization that our society has normalized what can only be described as verbal abuse online. Friends—mostly men, with a few women—reached out to share the video, expressing sincere sympathy with lines like:
- I can’t believe you have to deal with this.
- I’m sorry if you’ve faced this.
- Is this really your experience?
While their intentions were heartfelt, I felt unaffected. If you’re a woman, whether trans or cis, and have spent any time on social media—be it as a sports reporter or simply as someone with an opinion—you’re likely familiar with the barrage of horrific comments that threaten violence, promote hate, or simply demean.
I’ve been subjected to a litany of insults. I’ve been called repulsive and told that I would die alone. I’ve even faced attacks on my parenting, with someone callously suggesting that my child would be better off had I aborted him.
These comments don’t particularly unsettle me. Perhaps that’s one silver lining to growing up with an abusive father; the harsh words of strangers hold far less power over my emotions. However, when a friend shared the video and urged people to imagine expressing similar insults to their mother or sister before saying them to women online, I was taken aback.
It’s one thing to threaten me with violence or degradation. But to suggest that empathy must hinge on familial connections leaves me speechless. Why should a woman’s worth depend on her relationship to someone?
A woman should not have to be someone’s wife, mother, or sister to deserve basic respect. The notion that empathy must be cultivated through such connections diminishes the humanity of every woman. It shouldn’t require a mental exercise to recognize that a woman is deserving of respect simply because she is a human being.
Let’s be clear: I understand the rationale behind suggesting that men should view women through a familial lens, but I can’t reconcile that with the reality. Women are not only valuable to men when they fulfill familial roles. This flawed reasoning implies that if a woman is not providing pleasure or benefit to a man, she is fair game for disrespect and hostility.
I cannot support this line of thought. The truth is, I am not everyone’s wife or mother or daughter. I am currently no one’s wife, only one man’s mother, sister, and daughter. My identity does not warrant endless harassment simply because I do not fulfill a specific role in someone else’s life.
Just because I’m not your partner, daughter, or friend does not give you the right to harass me.
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In summary, the idea that we must view women as daughters or sisters to treat them with kindness is fundamentally flawed. Women deserve respect and dignity simply for being human, not based on their relationship to men. We need to cultivate a culture that values every woman equally—regardless of familial ties.