Dear Lily and Noah,
I know this may sound like a tall order, and that’s why I’m framing it as a gentle inquiry instead of a strict demand or a bribe involving your favorite dessert. So here it goes: could you please eat just one vegetable?
I understand that your very being might rebel against the idea of eating greens. I certainly don’t want to create a food battlefield like our parents did with us. However, that deep-rooted love for sugary and fatty treats is a relic from our caveman ancestry. It predates the time when corporate agriculture turned our food system into a confusing maze of unhealthy options.
That’s precisely why I’m asking you to munch on this vibrant carrot or perhaps a piece of kale. Remember that kale? Your dad grew it! I wasn’t much help in the gardening department, let’s be honest.
And no, I’m not diving into another parenting self-help book to figure out how to make you enjoy your veggies. I’m currently too busy with my adult coloring book—because that’s what parents do to unwind, right?
While we’re at it, I won’t be doing that clever trick I heard about where you blend Swiss chard into a smoothie. Honestly, it feels like too much work, and I’d rather not pander to your taste buds.
You should be thankful that you live in a place where fresh organic produce is available, and your parents can provide it without it being a huge struggle. Not every nutrient can come from that giant jar of gummy vitamins, and I’m pretty sure they won’t do the trick alone.
Just placing a vegetable on your tongue for a moment doesn’t count as actually eating it. I may not be a nutrition expert, especially since I tend to indulge in dark chocolate treats late at night. Speaking of which, Noah, what was up with that little accident upstairs while I was enjoying my ice cream? That was a bit of a surprise!
But back to the matter at hand: your vegetables. I’m not asking for a heap of them—just one. One little vegetable, please.
With all my love,
Your Mom
If you’re interested in more about the journey of parenthood and home insemination, check out some of our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. You’ll also find useful information on fertility at Make a Mom and explore valuable resources regarding pregnancy at ACOG.
Summary
The author playfully implores her children to eat just one vegetable, acknowledging the challenges of parental food battles while emphasizing the importance of nutrition. Through humor and honesty, she expresses her desire for them to appreciate the fresh produce available to them.