I sometimes wonder if the questions I get are just casual conversation starters or if they carry a hint of judgment. It often feels like people are sizing me up, as if there’s a “right” answer to their inquiries. Initially, it was, “What do you do all day?” As my children moved up the preschool ladder, it turned into, “What will you do with all that extra time?” Now, the big one is looming: “What are your plans for next year?”
I’ve grappled with guilt over my choice to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). On days when laundry piles up and dinner plans fall through, I often find myself comparing my efforts to working moms who seem to manage it all while earning a paycheck. There were many tough days—juggling a toddler and infant twins or two-year-old twins with a preschooler—when I felt overwhelmed and emotional. Honestly, how do other moms balance everything in just 24 hours?
As my kids have grown older, things have become more manageable. However, the questions have evolved, and so have my feelings of guilt and inadequacy. When faced with the question of what I will do next year, I felt a wave of anxiety; what’s the right answer?
After much contemplation and discussions with my partner, we’ve settled on our family’s direction for the upcoming year. I’ve resolved to embrace my situation and to stop feeling guilty about my choice. Here are five reasons I will continue as a SAHM even after my kids head off to school:
- Because I Can. It’s straightforward, but it’s the truth. Our family has been living comfortably on my husband’s income for years, and we can certainly continue this way. While we aren’t wealthy, we are fortunate enough to fit into the middle class. Extra money would be nice, but there are more significant benefits to my staying home.
- To Be Present. With school holidays and breaks, I’ll be around for my kids. They’re in school for only about 180 days each year, and my availability means we won’t have to scramble for childcare on sick days or during snow days. Plus, I won’t have to work evenings or weekends, which allows me to be fully present for them.
- To Ease My Partner’s Load. Some might think that my not working adds to the burden, but for us, it won’t change our financial situation. My husband works diligently to support our family, and I can help lighten his home responsibilities. He has always put in long hours, and I want to take on some of the daily chores so he can come home and unwind.
- To Improve Myself. I plan to focus on being better at everything I do. With more time, I hope to enhance my meal planning, budgeting, and time management skills. I also want to make time for my passions and become a happier, more relaxed person that my family enjoys being around.
- Because Life is Fleeting. I have a heightened awareness of the brevity of life, having faced health challenges in the past. The time we spend together as a family is invaluable, and I want to maximize that. By continuing to stay home, I can take care of errands and chores during the week, freeing up more time for family activities on weekends.
So, what will I do next year? I’ll cherish the time with my family.
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Summary
In conclusion, my choice to remain a stay-at-home mom, even after my children start school, stems from a desire to be present, improve my family’s well-being, and cherish our time together. I am embracing this path wholeheartedly, recognizing the value it brings to my family life.