Motherhood: A Series of Tiny Goodbyes

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I never thought I’d be that mom—the one who gets all sentimental about every little stage of her child’s life. You know, the one misty-eyed at events like preschool graduation? Nope, not me. But here’s the kicker: no one prepped me for these countless little heartaches.

It was a sunny day in Charleston, South Carolina, and my family was headed to the beach, with little Max riding along in his Radio Flyer. We looked like a perfect family photo waiting to happen. But as soon as I unbuckled him and lifted him from the wagon, things took a turn.

“No!” he shouted, pulling away. I was taken aback; I tried again to lift him up. “Get down!” he insisted. I placed him on the sand and reached for his hand, thinking maybe he just wanted to explore. But he turned to his dad and took his hand instead, waving back at me with a cheerful, “Bye-bye.”

It was sweet, really. But oh, how my heart hurt! This was the moment when I felt that first sting of rejection. Hello, Break Up. Nice to see you again.

As I sat there on a towel, pretending to read a magazine while secretly wiping away tears, I realized my mind was racing ahead. I envisioned a series of mini breakups that motherhood was bound to throw at me. I could see Max telling me to wait at the bus stop because he could do it alone. I could hear him saying he didn’t need my help picking out clothes anymore. I even imagined the time he’d ask me to tone down my cheering at his middle school games because his friends were teasing him.

Fast forward to first cars, first dates, and college send-offs. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be home by Christmas.” I could almost hear that little wave, “Bye-bye.”

I’ve come to understand that parenting is all about nurturing someone to eventually let them go. It’s a small blessing that these moments happen gradually, or I don’t think I could handle it all at once. My greatest wish as a mother is for my children to find happiness and grow towards independence. But still, letting go is tough.

Max will never need me as much as he did the day he was born. And each day after, if I’m doing my job right, he’ll need me a little less. That’s the reality of motherhood—1,000 tiny goodbyes before my little boy grows up. And you know what? I’m okay with feeling a bit sad about it.

Because, if I’m being honest, maybe I am that mom. And yes, this whole childhood thing is going way too fast.

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Summary

Motherhood is a journey filled with moments of letting go, often marked by tiny breakups between mother and child. It’s bittersweet as children grow more independent, leaving mothers to navigate their feelings of loss while celebrating their children’s growth.