Parenting
I never anticipated that my little ones would be so averse to the car. While expecting my first child, we excitedly purchased a charming new infant car seat. We meticulously installed it, even consulting a car seat technician, since the installation guidelines were quite perplexing.
The car seat appeared to be secure and cozy. On our first attempt to place our baby in it, we assumed he would drift off to sleep, lulled by the gentle movement of the vehicle. That’s how it happens in movies, right? Even the baby on the car seat’s packaging had a beaming smile.
Instead, as soon as we placed him inside, he erupted into a fit of tears. Screams that could shatter glass. The kind of wails that left his little face all red and blotchy. It was beyond surprising.
To soothe him, I decided to sit in the backseat. While that helped a bit, it wasn’t a total solution. I tried offering him a pacifier, but he promptly rejected it. So, I resorted to letting him suck on my finger. That worked momentarily until he spat that out too. He gazed up at me, clearly expressing that he wanted to be held. If he was going to suck on anything, it was going to be my breast — no questions asked.
Nursing him while he was in his car seat was not an option (though I eventually figured out how to nurse him while both of us were buckled in). I couldn’t simply grab him out of the seat either. Sitting next to him helped, but there were times I had to be the one driving.
Having a baby who detests the car truly complicates the life of a parent — or rather, it feels like pure chaos. It means meticulously planning car trips around times when your baby is least likely to be upset. For us, evenings were the worst; daytime drives were challenging but manageable. It often required coordinating outings when two adults could be in the car, or making frequent stops to comfort the baby, sometimes every few minutes.
Long journeys? Forget about it. For instance, when my second child was an infant, we broke a four-hour drive into two days, staying at a hotel overnight. It may sound extreme, but that was the only way we could manage the ordeal. Two hours of continuous wailing was my limit.
The most frustrating part was that everyone around us seemed baffled by our situation. My in-laws, who had babies in the ‘70s and ‘80s, suggested simply taking the baby out of the car seat for comfort (umm… no, thank you!). Others would say, “He’ll eventually fall asleep.” Well, my first child? That never happened. My second one sometimes managed it, but my first? Not a chance. The notion of a baby who never sleeps in the car was something I didn’t know existed, but it does.
Some people speculated that something was wrong with my babies or even with me. Sure, they were intense and required a lot of attention, but over the years, I learned that many babies loathe car rides — often more than you think. While not all had the same extreme reactions as mine, the struggle is a common challenge for many parents, adding stress to an already demanding time.
I find it surprising that this topic doesn’t get more attention — how tough it can be when your baby is a car seat screamer. I look back at those months and remember the despair of being stuck on highways with no exits, unable to comfort my little ones.
In hindsight, I became somewhat of a recluse during that time, relying on walking. Thankfully, I lived close enough to the grocery store that I could make quick trips. At one point, I even opted to order groceries online to steer clear of the car altogether. Sometimes you must do what you have to do!
The silver lining is that things gradually improved. Once my babies discovered toys and snacks, they became more entertained, and the piercing cries began to fade. Eventually, they became comfortable in the car, aside from the endless chorus of “Are we there yet?” that made me want to pull my hair out.
So if you’re a parent like me, dealing with a baby who absolutely detests car rides, know that you’re not alone. Your baby isn’t strange, nor are you. In fact, it’s a sign of a little one who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to express it — often loudly.
Just hang in there, do what you can, and before long, you’ll find yourself on the other side of this challenging phase.
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Summary:
Navigating life with a baby who hates car rides can feel overwhelming. From the initial shock of their cries to the challenge of planning outings, many parents face this common struggle. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this experience, and with time, things often improve. Finding ways to soothe and entertain your baby can help ease the stress of car travel.