Parenting can be quite a challenge, particularly during those middle school years. While my children are still quite young—2 and 5 years old—I often find myself mentally applauding all the parents navigating the tumultuous ages of 10 to 14. Not only are you faced with an emotional rollercoaster driven by hormones, but you’re also guiding your kids through a more competitive and often impersonal school environment. On top of that, many of you are dealing with your child’s first encounters with bullying or peer pressure, which are far more serious than typical primary school disputes.
As an educator who has worked with this age group, I truly admire your efforts. Just because parenting in these years is challenging doesn’t mean your child should run the show—or worse, become the ruler of your household. I may not have all the answers to raising exemplary human beings, but I’d like to share some insights based on my extensive experience with preteens.
1. Reconsider Violent Video Games
It’s worth contemplating whether to purchase that latest Call of Duty game for your 10-year-old, even if it boasts slightly fewer violent scenes. In fact, consider skipping it entirely. Games like Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto are rife with graphic violence and negative themes. Remember, your child isn’t just a viewer; they actively participate, making choices that can influence their perspectives and behaviors.
2. Make Garbage Disposal Cool
Teach your children that tossing their trash is not just a chore—it’s a sign of respect. It’s disheartening to see kids leaving food waste in desks because they couldn’t be bothered to walk a few feet to the trash can. Regularly reminding kids about recycling and proper waste disposal shouldn’t be your job alone—it’s essential they learn these skills at home too.
3. Foster Awareness of Personal Space
Every day, I experience accidental bumps and nudges from students who seem oblivious to personal boundaries. Teaching kids to respect personal space is vital. Understanding nonverbal cues goes a long way in various social situations, from job interviews to casual encounters.
4. Instill the Value of Patience
Life doesn’t always move at the speed we desire. Whether it’s waiting in line or for a delayed delivery, instilling the understanding that patience is a virtue will help your kids navigate life’s inevitable delays.
5. Educate on Boundaries
This goes beyond personal space. Children need to recognize that certain actions—like hitting someone with a pen or making jokes at others’ expense—aren’t appropriate. Help them understand humor in a constructive way by introducing them to age-appropriate comedy.
6. Delay Smartphone Ownership
Resist the urge to buy your 10-year-old a smartphone. At that age, they’re unlikely to manage the distractions and potential dangers that come with it. Instead, consider an old flip phone for essential communication—no apps, no social media, just texting and calling. This way, you can maintain some control over their digital exposure.
Throughout my career, I’ve witnessed many parents successfully raise respectful and compassionate children who transition into remarkable teenagers. It takes time, effort, and sometimes a firm “no,” but creating good humans is absolutely achievable.
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In summary, the journey of parenting through the middle school years is undoubtedly challenging, but with patience and clear guidelines, you can help your children grow into kind and responsible adults.