When anticipating the arrival of your first child, it’s all about the tangible aspects: the size of your belly, the nursery setup, the hospital choice for delivery, and the type of car seat to bring your precious little one home. All of these factors are undeniably important.
However, after navigating the waters of postpartum life, my top piece of advice to expectant mothers is to prioritize your emotional well-being. How can you care for others if you neglect yourself?
As a new mom, I had a lot to unpack. Questions swirled in my mind: “Did that really just happen?” “Was that comment for real?” “Is this truly my life now?” There’s a considerable amount of healing that comes with becoming a mother, far beyond the physical recovery that many women experience.
I had to learn the importance of letting go, as Elsa would say. Holding onto unnecessary burdens only complicates life. Plus, I need to be agile to keep up with my busy toddler!
I quickly realized that I am not alone in feeling this way, and I won’t be the last. New moms often find themselves overwhelmed with pregnancy hormones and the emotional ups and downs of postpartum life, completely unaware of their own strength and beauty. Your nurturing touch can bring comfort; you possess a profound power. Yet, feelings of guilt and shame can creep in during what should be some of the happiest moments of your life.
Some may read this and think, “Wow, moms are a bit out there!” Yes, we might be a little “cray-cray,” but consider how it feels to experience those emotions. Thoughts and feelings can arise seemingly out of nowhere for many new mothers. It’s truly unfair at times! I once thought that dealing with my period in middle school was tough—this is a whole different ball game!
Let’s shift the narrative. Instead of labeling it as “crazy,” how about we acknowledge that you, dear moms, are incredible, extraordinary, and irreplaceable. You are remarkable and strong!
I want to take a moment and tell you: Don’t cry, Mom. If the moment your baby arrives isn’t filled with instant joy and rainbows, that’s perfectly fine. Every childbirth experience is uniquely yours, and you and your little one are going to thrive together.
Don’t cry, Mom. I know it’s the middle of the night and you hear the breast pump making sounds that resemble someone shouting at you. You’re not losing it—okay, maybe just a little—but you will make it through (even if your partner is blissfully snoring beside you).
Don’t cry, Mom. If you catch yourself wondering, “Can I really do this?” and guilt hits like a freight train for even thinking such thoughts—give yourself some grace. You are a person going through one of life’s most significant transitions. It’s okay to have those moments; just recognize that you will be alright and let those thoughts drift away.
Don’t cry, Mom. If you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner, questioning how things escalated so quickly when you were just having a good time—it’s normal. Figuring out how to parent as a team can be a challenge, and while some couples adapt swiftly, others like my partner and I may always be a work in progress. The good news is that both of us are committed to putting in the effort, even when it’s tough.
Go ahead and cry, Mom. If the baby won’t sleep and has pulled your hair during the midnight hours, it’s okay to feel tired and frustrated. His cries can pierce your soul. Sometimes, you just need to let it out while holding that little one close. It’s perfectly okay to have a good cry and then regroup because that’s what moms do.
Remember this: You are not alone. No matter how you feel right now, you are part of a larger community. This too shall pass.
And, most importantly, you are amazing. We all see it; now it’s time for you to recognize it too.
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Summary
This article encourages new mothers to prioritize their emotional health during the transition to motherhood. It highlights the unique struggles new moms face, the importance of self-care, and the need to let go of guilt and shame. The message is clear: you are not alone, and it’s okay to have a range of emotions during this life-changing time.