It’s a well-trodden joke among parents, and unfortunately, there’s a good reason for it. When you welcome kids into your life, your once-thriving sex life may not come to a complete halt (here’s hoping!), but it certainly undergoes some significant changes—at least for a while.
New parents, even those who were once passionate lovers, often find themselves experiencing lulls in their intimate life. With sleepless nights, a little one attached to you all day, and the constant presence of baby messes, it’s tough to get into the mood. Thankfully, the comedic parents of Twitter have a way of turning these not-so-funny moments into laughter. Here are some of their best quips about the reality of intimacy post-kids:
- That one unforgettable moment…wow.
It’s enough to make you question your skills, but at least it happened once! - Different levels of satisfaction.
As a parent, enjoying chocolate cereal in silence can feel like an earth-shattering pleasure. - Beyoncé, you’re our beacon of hope.
Sometimes, we’re not “Drunk in Love”; we just want some peace and quiet! - The ultimate Hail Mary.
Rushing to connect while dodging distractions? No pressure, right?! - Setting the scene.
It’s all about the ambiance—just watch out for those tiny hands! - Don’t even think about it.
Nothing kills the mood faster than a reminder to redo chores—seriously, can we not? - Knives down, please!
He may not admit it, but he secretly appreciates your guidance. - Those socks, though.
True love means saying, “No, honey…keep those socks on.” - Yeah, right.
All those batteries? They’re powering a mini casino of noisy toys. Sigh. - Does that count as intimacy?
Sometimes it feels like you’re just passing ships in the night—or awkward strangers at a crowded water park. - Nothing gets you going like…
Mmmm, darling, tell me again how we can avoid rest stop bathrooms thanks to your planning. - Smart thinking.
If you don’t act now, that laundry will sit and ferment until morning—no mom would judge you! - Kinky, right?
By the time you reach “Valances: Aren’t These Nice?”, he should be ready to roll. - Yikes.
Sorry, but you can’t come back from that. RIP, intimacy.
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In summary, the shift in intimacy after having kids is real and often leads to some hilarious moments. Parents may find themselves navigating a new landscape of affection and connection, all while sharing a good laugh about their experiences.