Parenting has evolved significantly since my children entered their tween years. One of the most notable changes has been in how I approach discipline. The days of threatening to take away dessert as punishment are long gone. Now, they can easily sneak treats when I’m distracted—whether I’m in the shower, scrolling through social media, or running errands. They’ve mastered finding my hiding spots and can devour a slice of cake in no time! On the flip side, they can’t drive yet, so revoking car privileges isn’t an option either.
As we navigate this tween phase together, I’ve had to rethink my parenting strategies to manage their increasingly sassy attitudes. Getting them to truly listen requires some creative adjustments on my part. Instead of ending with “or else,” which they’ve learned means I’m at a loss for a real consequence, I’ve had to get a bit more inventive.
Just the other day, I told my 12-year-old, “or else,” and he shot back, “Or else what? What does that even mean?” After a moment, I decided that “or else” meant he would lose phone privileges for the day—a punishment that got him moving quickly!
Here are some additional techniques I’ve found effective:
1. Mirror Their Style to Make a Point
Why do tweens insist on wearing their pants so low that it looks like they’re about to fall off? I discovered that if I mimic their style, it helps them see how ridiculous it looks. One day at the grocery store, I intentionally sagged my pants below my underwear to illustrate my point. He was horrified, especially when the store manager approached me about “indecent exposure.” Lesson learned, right?
2. Use Music to Teach Life Lessons
Pop music has replaced the Disney tunes that dominated our household, and I want to understand what my kids are listening to. Since they’ll hear it anyway, I might as well join in and use it as a teaching moment. While we’re driving, I take the opportunity to discuss the questionable messages in their favorite songs. If they roll their eyes and say, “Yeah, Mom, we know,” I can easily switch to my own nostalgic tunes from college—much to their dismay. If they’re open to my insights, they get to enjoy their preferred music!
3. Investigate Their Phones
Getting information out of my kids can feel like pulling teeth! They often can’t recall what happened at school or who they hung out with. However, when I start probing about their texts or social media posts, they tend to open up much faster. It’s a surefire way to get them talking, even when they’re otherwise tight-lipped about their day.
4. Ask for Some Space
I’ve learned it’s perfectly acceptable to tell my kids to give me some room when I need a break. No more hiding in the bathroom with treats; I can simply request they find something to do away from me. They usually recognize that they’ve pushed my buttons, and it’s time for them to entertain themselves.
As our children grow, our parenting styles must adapt. We continue to love them deeply, even if that love is expressed differently as they become more independent. While their antics may shift from being little nuisances to bigger ones, as long as we maintain control in creative ways, we can rest assured we are doing our best as parents.
For more parenting insights, you can check out this helpful post on home insemination techniques. If you’re curious about boosting fertility, Make a Mom offers some great advice on the topic. Additionally, March of Dimes is an excellent resource for pregnancy and family planning.
In summary, parenting tweens requires a fresh approach to communication and discipline. By using creative tactics and engaging methods, we can foster listening and understanding in our growing children.