For the past four days, my daughter’s beloved blue blanket has been resting in the center console of my car. I use the term “blanket” quite loosely; “frayed, hole-ridden cloth” might be a better description.
For nearly a decade, this blanket has been my daughter’s nightly companion. Every single night, it has served as an extension of her being and, by extension, our family.
The lengths we’ve gone to for Blankie (yes, it has a proper name) have sometimes felt a bit over the top. We’ve made 40-minute detours to retrieve it when it was forgotten, and I’ve asked countless times, “Do you have your blanket?” before heading out, often double-checking to be sure. I’ve spent hours on a treasure hunt for it — searching in the fridge, under beds, in bathtubs, and even in the trash. (Yes, the trash.)
For almost ten years, Blankie has been a steadfast friend to my daughter. Whenever she feels tired, sad, or simply needs to unwind, she clutches a corner of it and rubs it against her nose while sucking her thumb. She calls this ritual “snugs,” her unique way of finding comfort.
There have been moments when I’ve wondered if she would ever grow out of her attachment to Blankie or stop sucking her thumb. Just as I once questioned whether she’d ever sleep through the night as a newborn, or if she’d be potty-trained by age three, or if she’d learn to read as a kindergartener. It’s often said that kids won’t head off to college with their blankies and thumb-sucking habits, yet there were times I pondered the possibility of her still having those comforts at an older age.
Some might argue that my daughter is too old for a blankie or that we should have put an end to thumb-sucking long ago. To that, we’ve all responded in our own way: “Leave us be.”
A couple of years back, I took her to see an orthodontist due to some prematurely lost teeth. I mentioned that my then-eight-year-old was a thumb-sucker, and that this behavior wouldn’t be changing anytime soon. I didn’t express any worries; I merely stated it as a fact.
“We’ll see what we can do about that,” he replied.
As my daughter sat in the chair, the orthodontist probed her with questions about school and sports, then made a thinly-veiled attempt to embarrass her by asking, “What would your friends say if they knew you sucked your thumb?”
“They wouldn’t say anything…because they’re my friends,” she replied confidently.
Needless to say, we quickly found another orthodontist who not only respected my daughter but also reassured me that she would stop sucking her thumb when she was ready. Until then, there was no need for concern.
So, for the past decade, my daughter has cherished her “snugs” with Blankie while sucking her thumb. Is she on the older side of this behavior? Maybe. Could we have taken Blankie away or used some sort of ceremonial send-off, as many parents do with pacifiers? Certainly. Could we have put mittens on her hands at night to discourage thumb-sucking? Absolutely. Could we have forced her to give up her comforts sooner? Probably.
But why? For what purpose? To hasten her into a world where odd habits are often shunned? To rush her out of the innocent phase of childhood, where she finds solace in her beloved routines? To conform to an arbitrary timeline for “acceptable” childhood behaviors?
Children are not programmed machines. They are unique individuals with their own feelings and thoughts, progressing through life at their own pace. Just as it may seem like our newborn will never sleep through the night or our three-year-old will always be in diapers, they eventually conquer these milestones in their own time.
One day, you’ll notice that your almost ten-year-old has mostly stopped sucking her thumb. You’ll find that her blanket has been left behind in the car for several days, and your heart might ache just a little for the sweet childhood moments that have quietly slipped away.
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Summary:
In this article, the author reflects on the bittersweet nature of childhood as she shares her journey with her daughter’s attachment to a beloved blanket and thumb-sucking habit. Rather than rushing her daughter to conform to societal expectations, she embraces the unique timeline of childhood development, recognizing that each child grows at their own pace and should be allowed to find comfort in their habits.