At a recent gathering of remarkable minds (a brilliant book club filled with witty women…and me), I found myself breaking my usual habit of keeping things lighthearted when someone innocently inquired about my lovely teenage daughter. With a tad too much enthusiasm, I blurted out how I sometimes feel the urge to stab the little diva with a fork.
“She’s such a handful! Always! A selfish, moody creature! Constantly giving me the stink eye and rolling her eyes at everything I say! Foot-stomping and slamming doors – we had to take the door off its hinges! Honestly, I could just stab her! Frickin’ little diva, I swear I could fork her!”
Most people weren’t shocked by my outburst, as I’m not exactly known for my calm demeanor.
One friend, however, abruptly set her wine glass down, cleared her throat, and with her arms crossed, glared at me. “Julia, it makes me physically uncomfortable to hear you speak so violently about your daughter. I know her, and she’s a gem! What you’re saying is disturbing. She’s a young girl, and you should be showing her respect – you owe her that much.”
A wave of embarrassment and anger washed over me, and I could feel my cheeks burning. Before I could muster a response or apology, another voice interjected.
“With all due respect, Michelle, you need to tone it down.”
The room fell silent. This wasn’t your typical outspoken mom; this was a gentle, composed woman whom I truly respect and don’t share much in common with.
“You have two SONS. SONS! You have no idea what it’s like to have a teenage girl at home – and Julia’s got three of them! So, with all due respect: JUST STOP. You can’t possibly understand the wild transformations these girls go through without warning. No clue whatsoever.”
My unexpected ally, a mom to a 15-year-old girl, turned to me and said, “I totally understand – I say fork her!”
For more insights on parenting and managing the challenges of raising teenagers, check out this post from our other blog.
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In summary, parenting a teenager can be overwhelming and frustrating, but it’s also a shared experience. Sometimes, we just need to vent and know we’re not alone in our feelings.