When my partner and I first started our journey together, we were the epitome of a picture-perfect couple. We cherished every moment, even the mundane ones. Grocery shopping became a shared adventure, and we would sit side by side as we tackled bills. From workouts to binge-watching our favorite shows, we were inseparable. Our friends probably thought we were the most lovey-dovey duo to ever exist; it was almost comical how cute we were.
Once we tied the knot, the honeymoon stage was nothing short of blissful. We found joy in cooking elaborate meals and spent evenings rocking on our porch, dreaming about a future filled with children. We were blissfully in love, and our adorableness was off the charts.
However, once our first child arrived, maintaining that initial spark became a challenge. Let’s face it—there’s nothing particularly romantic about pumping breast milk at the kitchen table while your partner enjoys breakfast. As the years rolled by, it became clear that for our marriage to thrive long-term, I would need to accept his less-than-pleasant bathroom habits, and he would have to embrace the reality that watching me put on workout gear is not exactly a mood-setter.
After 17 years of marriage, romance has morphed into something different. While we may not indulge in candlelit dinners every week, our bond is built on understanding. I can binge-watch my favorite series while he snores away beside me.
So, here are some signs that your honeymoon phase might be over too:
- The last time you celebrated New Year’s Eve was back in the Y2K era.
- You’ve stopped trying to impress your mother-in-law.
- Your Christmas tree is adorned with gifts you bought for yourself—and you’re thrilled about those cozy fleece leggings.
- Romance now means purchasing a new water heater just in time for Valentine’s Day.
- Two words: courtesy flushes.
- You’ve gone to bed angry a few times since your wedding—okay, more like 562 times.
- You no longer giggle at being called “Mrs.”
- You’ve fantasized about hosting a “Replace the Broken Wedding Appliances” party for your 10th anniversary.
- Forget flowers; your heart melts when your partner empties the dishwasher without being asked.
- “I’ll handle bedtime” is now your version of foreplay.
- You both roll your eyes at young couples kissing in public.
- You haven’t attended a wedding in 15 years.
- Date night now means Netflix and takeout instead of fancy dinners.
- You buy underwear at bulk stores without a second thought.
- Love notes on the bathroom mirror have been replaced with texts like “Pick up milk or don’t come home.”
- When you say “Pooh Bear,” you’re talking about a stuffed animal, not your partner.
- Your spouse has stopped joking about inviting extra guests to bed.
- “Clothing optional days” now solely apply to your toddler.
- You come home from your run with just one coffee from Starbucks—no extra for him.
- He no longer pretends to notice when you try a new hairstyle or outfit.
- He trims his nose hairs while you clip your toenails, and it feels totally normal.
- You shoot him a stink eye when he tries to join you in the shower—seriously, it’s the only time you get peace.
- You only light candles when the power goes out or when the bathroom needs freshening up.
I no longer crave grand romantic gestures like I did in my twenties. These days, I’m just happy when laundry actually makes it to the basket and dishes find their way into the dishwasher. While I do miss the occasional surprise flowers, I appreciate the authenticity of our relationship. My partner has seen every side of me, and he still looks at me with love—especially when I’m in those leggings he gave me for Christmas.
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Summary:
The honeymoon phase in relationships often gives way to a more authentic, albeit different, kind of love. While the initial spark may fade, lasting connections are built on shared experiences, understanding, and the little things that matter. Recognizing the signs that the honeymoon is over can help partners embrace the next phase of their journey together.