Motherhood has enveloped my existence, reshaping it in ways I never anticipated. This may not be the most glamorous imagery, but it’s my reality.
My heart is completely devoted to my son and daughter, yet in this journey, some of the things that once brought me joy have taken a backseat. This year of being a stay-at-home parent has proven to be incredibly challenging—like, truly overwhelming. The days blend together, and I find myself counting down the minutes until my partner returns home from work, a longing that I sometimes find hard to admit. It’s disheartening to see other mothers seemingly thriving, and that comparison can be quite harsh.
During the spring, when the winds of Colorado’s High Plains are at their peak, I struggled to step outside. With unfavorable weather for outdoor play, options for indoor activities felt nonexistent, driving me a bit stir-crazy.
One afternoon, after nap time, I realized I needed to make a trip to the store. As I dressed my son, he looked at me quizzically and asked, “Why are we putting clothes on? Where are we going?” Oh dear, he has figured out that we often stay in our pajamas unless we plan to venture out. Cue the mom guilt.
I attempted to explain that we wear clothes even without a destination, but he wasn’t convinced. “But where are we goooing?” he persisted.
“To the store,” I responded, a hint of resignation in my voice.
His face lit up as if I had just promised him a trip to the moon. “Can I get a lollipop?” he asked eagerly.
“Of course,” I smiled back.
His simple pleasure in receiving a Dum Dums pop from the cashier at the grocery store is delightful. I cherish his enthusiasm for errands and his joy in sharing our purchases with the clerk. He enthusiastically shakes my sparkling water, proclaiming, “When this opens, it’s like a volcano, but with no smoke.” The cashier chuckles, taken aback by his impromptu science demonstration, as he mimics an erupting volcano with his tiny body. After some giggles, she hands him the basket to choose his sucker flavor, and he opts for root beer, a bold choice for a little adventurer. His curiosity and zest for life are truly infectious.
Yet, I often feel the pressure to nurture his inquisitive nature more actively. The educator in me believes that I should be stimulating his mind and exposing him to new experiences. However, my creative energy feels depleted. I have always prided myself on being imaginative, and I envisioned that leading adventures in motherhood would be my forte. Yet, it seems far from the reality I’m living.
After discussing this with my partner, I realized that rekindling my own creativity might be the best way to support my children’s growth. Just like flight attendants advise parents to secure their own oxygen masks first, I need to reignite my spark for life to be a better mom. And honestly, shouldn’t my own joy and excitement for life matter too?
Thus, I am crafting a new motherhood mission statement: I will dedicate time each week to create and learn, or to discover through creating. Whether it’s writing, visual arts, or even interpretive dance, I want to embrace life with the same excitement as a toddler experiencing a volcanic eruption.
This journey is just beginning, and I’m committed to nurturing my passions and sharing that energy with my children. For those interested in more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource. Additionally, if you want to explore fertility supplements, visit this authority on the topic. Remember, taking care of yourself is the first step in being the best parent you can be.
Summary:
In a heartfelt reflection, Jessica Lane shares her transformative journey of motherhood, highlighting the challenges and joys of being a stay-at-home parent. Despite feeling overwhelmed and lacking creative energy, she realizes the importance of nurturing her own passions to better support her children’s growth. With a new mission statement focusing on creativity and learning, Jessica aims to embrace life with enthusiasm, akin to her children’s joyful, curious spirits.