While my children might have a different opinion, I consider myself a fairly easygoing parent. We have established rules that I generally enforce. However, I’m open to hearing their perspectives, and if they make a compelling case, I might just make an exception.
For instance, if my 9-year-old asks me nicely to pick up his laundry because he’s too exhausted, I’ll gladly do it. And if my younger son, with his adorable new haircut, sweet-talks me after complimenting my dress, he might just find himself with a lollipop, even if it’s not “dessert time.” Yes, I admit it—I have spoiled kids.
I also indulge them with treats. My budget doesn’t allow for extravagant purchases, but they do receive toys, video games, and ice cream. Honestly, whatever extra cash we have goes to them; they are my priority, as any child should be.
But here’s the thing—they’re still kids. They can throw tantrums over the tiniest issues, and that’s simply part of their developmental stage. Their ability to manage impulses is still a work in progress, so I strive to be patient. While it’s essential to provide structure, I also need to empathize with their emotions. Finding that balance can be quite challenging.
Moreover, they’re just so irresistibly cute, and I want to cherish these moments. When my 3-year-old asks me to lie down with him for his nap, how can I refuse? And when my 9-year-old has a nightmare, I let him sleep in my room—not just that night, but for a week or two afterward. Why not?
I might be a bit of a softie, but one thing I refuse to compromise on is teaching my kids to be kind. This goes beyond mere manners; understanding kindness and respect is essential.
Instilling Values of Kindness
So how do I instill these values? First and foremost, we discuss feelings regularly in our household. My kids probably roll their eyes at my constant emphasis on emotions, but it’s important here. If they’re acting out—whether it’s ignoring screen time limits, roughhousing with each other, or turning down lunch they asked for—I need to understand what’s happening emotionally.
Sometimes they can’t articulate their feelings right away, and yes, discipline is necessary if their behavior gets out of hand or if anyone is in danger. However, we never punish them for their emotions. Once they calm down, they usually articulate what’s bothering them, and I value that.
By respecting their feelings, I’m teaching them empathy, kindness, and love. They’ve learned to listen—not just to me, but to their friends and teachers as well.
How I treat them serves as a model for how they will interact with others. If that occasionally makes me seem overindulgent, so be it. What matters most to me is that my children feel loved and secure. I genuinely believe that by showering them with unconditional love—filling them up with it—they’ll have more to share with others.
I’m not perfect; I’m just navigating this parenting journey as best I can. But I can confidently say that, despite a bit of spoiling, it appears to be working. My kids are kind, good friends, and diligent students. One day, I trust they will grow into compassionate men who prioritize kindness and respect.
Further Reading
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In summary, while my children may be a bit pampered, I am committed to ensuring they grow up to be kind and respectful individuals.