When You Feel Like You’re Letting Down Your Friends

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Let’s be honest: I’ve taken my friendships for granted more times than I can count. In my younger days, friends were simply part of my everyday scenery. We played on sports teams together, shared classes, and endlessly chatted about crushes over pizza. We were each other’s go-to companions, navigating the ups and downs of life as if we had all the time in the world.

Fast forward to today, where I find myself juggling a husband, kids, work, and an undeniable relationship with a mountain of laundry. Maintaining friendships amidst this whirlwind requires serious effort. Coordinating schedules often turns into a game of calendar Tetris, complete with color-coded highlighters. I’ve even pretended to jog just to squeeze in some time with friends, discussing our sons and the challenges of getting them to use the toilet properly.

As life has grown more complex, so have my friendships. They aren’t just about late-night cocktails or binge-watching reality TV anymore (though, let’s be real, there’s still a bit of that!). Now, our conversations often revolve around aging parents, the challenges of raising teenagers, and the never-ending quest to decide what’s for dinner.

While my friends are still there to support me, I sometimes feel like I’m falling short as a friend. My time is constantly being pulled in different directions, usually by something that requires immediate attention.

We All Struggle with Being Good Friends

We all struggle with being good friends at times. Here are a few reasons why:

  • We miss calls when a friend really needs support because we’re swamped with parenting duties.
  • We might not choose the right words when friends seek our advice.
  • Sometimes, our eagerness to share leads us to talk too much instead of listening.
  • Important dates, like birthdays, slip our minds.
  • We can become so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to check in on our friends’ big moments.
  • We may feel hurt when not invited to outings that we might not even attend.
  • We hold onto petty grudges and create unnecessary drama in our minds.
  • Friendships can drift apart due to our busy lives, and some even fade away when we don’t show up the way they need.

How We Thrive as Friends

However, it’s essential to remember how we thrive as friends, too:

  • We listen intently, often more than our partners do.
  • We keep each other’s secrets safe.
  • We dive into deep conversations about everything from parenting to personal challenges.
  • We share genuine laughter, often until our drinks go flying, understanding the real struggles beneath the surface.
  • We remind each other of our beauty, which can be a much-needed boost.
  • We notice the little things—the new haircut, the subtle shift in mood.
  • We uplift one another, leaving each other feeling better than before.
  • We know when to reach out, especially when Google doesn’t have all the answers. Sometimes, a chat with someone who has faced similar challenges is the best comfort.
  • We make time for each other, even when it feels impossible.
  • We forgive, recognizing the chaos that comes with this stage of life.

I look forward to the day when we’re all in our 80s, free from the daily stresses, still chatting about life and enjoying a drink in celebration of how far we’ve come.

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In summary, while balancing friendships amid life’s chaos can be challenging, it’s important to recognize both our struggles and our successes. We may not always get it right, but the love and support we share make all the difference.