You remember those moments from your childhood when a single, powerful look from a parent or teacher could silence you instantly? Just a raised eyebrow or a chilling glare, and you’d freeze in your tracks. That’s what I call the parent glare. And then there’s the unmistakable parent voice—when your mom changes her tone or emphasizes a few words, it sends shivers down your spine. Or when your dad simply calls your name, and you know it’s game over. Those are the tools seasoned parents wield, but they don’t come naturally; they develop over time with practice.
As a parent with nearly six years of experience and two kids to manage, I should have mastered those skills by now. But the truth is, I haven’t. Instead, I’ve turned to a more primal tool that requires no training: yelling. I do it frequently, and while it might not be my proudest parenting moment, it’s effective. Sure, it scares my son a little—though let’s be honest, so does Elmo! I’m not going all Sam Kinison on him; it’s more like a firm bark to get his attention.
I don’t want my son to fear me; I just need to interrupt whatever chaotic thing he’s doing. At five years old, he often requires reminders—multiple times—before he registers what I’m saying. He’s known to head-butt his little brother, jump on me while I’m holding hot coffee, or demand a song while we’re in the middle of a movie he asked to watch! At this age, kids are pure instinct, and sometimes they need a little jolt to redirect their energy. A loud voice helps regain control in those moments.
Are there gentler methods? Absolutely! I’ve mentioned the parent voice and the glare, but those methods can take years to master. They’re tough to execute when kids are constantly on the move and making noise. Sometimes you need to shout to be heard over the chaos and to snap them out of their impulsive behavior.
But I’m aware that relying on yelling can backfire. If it becomes a regular occurrence, it loses its impact. I’m trying to avoid that while also keeping my son from accidentally hurting himself or others. Until he matures enough to grasp consequences, my voice is my best ally. It’s a balancing act between the effectiveness of yelling and his growing understanding of boundaries.
For now, I’ll continue to raise my voice when necessary. It may cause him a moment of fear, but it also gives me a brief pause to redirect him. And let’s be real—when I don’t yell, he tends to ignore me. A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.
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In summary, while I may not have mastered the art of the parent glare or voice yet, I’m navigating the challenges of parenting with the tools I have—yelling included. It’s all part of the journey, and like every parent, I’m doing my best to adapt as my kids grow.