We’ve all had that friend who was once a significant part of our lives but may not hold the same place anymore. Perhaps you met during your wild 20s, and as you transitioned into your 30s, your paths started to diverge. Maybe you bonded as new moms at a playgroup, sharing stories about diaper mishaps and late-night feedings. Now that your kids are in school and your experiences have evolved, those calls to catch up have become less frequent.
Alternatively, you might have known her before either of you had kids. Watching her parenting choices unfold has left you wondering if the friendship is worth maintaining. Whatever the background of your connection, it’s natural for friendships to either naturally diminish or require some serious reflection. Sometimes, it feels necessary to channel your inner Elsa and let go.
But how do you decide if this friendship is simply in a rough patch or if it’s time to end it for good? Here are five things to think about before making that final call:
- When was the last time you truly enjoyed each other’s company?
If your last fun memory together was a decade ago, you might need to take a fresh look at your friendship. Consider when you last made time for each other—whether it was a quick phone call or sharing a glass of wine. If it’s been ages, your friendship could be on shaky ground. - How did you find out her latest big news?
How you learned about her recent life changes can reveal much about your closeness. Did she share her pregnancy news with you in person, or did you learn about it via social media? If you’re often finding out important updates from mutual acquaintances instead of from her directly, it may signal a disconnect that needs addressing. - What emotions does her name evoke?
Think about it—there are people whose behavior has changed so much that your initial connection feels strained. If the thought of seeing her makes you anxious or prompts eye rolls, it’s time to be honest with yourself. If your friendship feels more like a chore than a joy, it might be best to move on. - Would you still be friends if you met her today?
In our digital age, it’s easy to feel connected to people online but less so in real life. Ask yourself whether, if you met her today, you’d choose to be friends. If a virtual friendship has clouded your judgment, consider what a face-to-face connection would reveal. - Is she part of your ‘Left-Hand Friends’?
Think about the friends who would drop everything to support you during a crisis. These are the ones who instinctively show up with comfort food and drinks when you need them most. If you find yourself questioning whether she belongs in this circle, it’s likely that she doesn’t.
Letting go of a friendship can be a tough decision. It often feels like admitting defeat, which is never easy. Yet, sometimes, it’s necessary to clear space for those who truly matter. If you find that some friendships have run their course, it’s okay to prioritize the ones that bring you joy and support.
Now, I think it’s time for a few phone calls and maybe a cocktail or two!
For more insights on family and relationships, check out this article from our other blog. Also, if you’re exploring the topic of home insemination, a great resource is this guide. And for practical tools, consider this insemination kit that can help you on your journey.
Summary:
Before deciding to end a friendship, reflect on when you last had fun together, how you learned about her latest news, and what emotions her name brings up for you. Consider if you would still choose to be friends if you met her today, and evaluate whether she’s one of your closest friends. Sometimes, letting go is necessary for personal growth and to focus on those who truly matter in your life.