“Wow, they’ve really grown!”
My partner, Tom, seemed taken aback, his expression one of disbelief as he searched for clarification in my eyes. “I can’t believe how fast time has flown,” he added.
“Oh, I can,” I replied quietly.
Like many significant transitions in life, this one had been unfolding gradually over several years, even if neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. I had noticed it happening sooner; the truth is, the early days never quite suited me, even from the start. These days, while we tackle household chores like laundry, which we were doing at that moment, we often find ourselves reminiscing about the days of our little ones. What Tom seemed to be realizing now, I had been aware of for quite some time.
“I remember when I could hold them in the palm of my hand,” he sighed. “Can they really be gone for good?”
“Come on, don’t be so dramatic.”
“I just miss those days,” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“I’m sorry, but back then they were—dare I say—quite annoying!”
It was true! Shouldn’t we be able to be honest about these things? For some mothers, those early years seemed seamless and natural, but for me, it was always… a challenge. I could admit that to him now.
“How can you say that? They were absolutely adorable!” he protested.
“Maybe to you, but they were literally all over me 24/7!”
“I know you have a different perspective, but I miss it,” he replied, looking off into the distance.
“I get it, but they woke me up at all hours! Ugh!” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, but I was awake too.” He chuckled.
“Do we need them around to be happy? Was that what kept us together?” I asked.
“No, that’s silly. They just added some spice to our lives back then.”
“Maybe for you… I barely recall those tiny moments anyway. It all feels like a blur.”
“I remember everything,” he insisted.
“Well, do you remember how costly they were?”
“Like it’s any different now?” he shot back.
We locked eyes, a moment of silence hanging between us. He was trying to persuade me, and I found myself wavering.
“What if we started fresh?” he suggested with a playful smirk. “A whole new batch?”
I shook my head vigorously.
“Absolutely not! Have you seen these stretch marks?” I sighed. “Those days are behind us. And to be completely honest, I never even wanted the last pair! It was just to make you happy — when I look at them, I feel nothing but regret!”
“You take that back!”
“I wish I could take them back!”
His expression turned serious, confusion washing over him. Was my honesty too harsh?
I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, trying to soften my tone. “We can’t dwell on what’s past. We should cherish the good memories.”
“Well, I do have pictures,” he sniffed, a hint of emotion creeping in.
“Oh, come on — are you crying again?”
“No, but sometimes, when I see those photos, it makes me want to cry.”
Taking his hands in mine, I tried to help him understand. “Sure, it’s a major change for both of us, but I’m happier now, can’t you see?”
“Major,” he echoed.
“I know, but it was time to move on.”
He turned his gaze to the laundry instead of me, feeling like I was talking to a wall.
“Besides, I’m past 40,” I reminded him.
“So what? I know women who—”
I interrupted him. “As a man, you might never truly grasp how I feel right now — I’m done! You weren’t the one left caring for those little ones every single day for years. Now, it’s different, but so much better. They hug me now instead of just clinging to me all day. I feel comfortable with how things are. I know you might not be, but I’m finally able to breathe again. I feel… free!” I said, my voice wavering.
He attempted a smile, but I could tell he just didn’t understand. I continued, “You’ve always had that freedom. I need your support and compassion, not judgment.”
He looked at me with a sense of resignation.
Suddenly, he pulled out my enormous, beige granny panties from the laundry basket, holding them up with both hands.
“Guess what they say is true. They really are only little once.”
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Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection on parenthood, Emma and Tom navigate the bittersweet feelings of watching their children grow up. As memories blend with the challenges of raising little ones, they confront their different experiences and emotions about those early years. Ultimately, Emma embraces her newfound freedom, while Tom reminisces about the past, highlighting the complexities of parenting and personal growth.